LOS ANGELES — Last week in the NFL was one everyone would like to forget. Unless, of course, you’re one of the handful of teams who improved to 2-0 and thus greatly increased your chance of eventually advancing to the playoffs. If you’re winless as we enter Week 3, then what a pity because in the last five seasons just one team – the 2013 Panthers – has advanced to the tournament after beginning the year as such (you’ll probably read that again soon). If the season ended today, who would be your MVP? Good question, glad I asked it. Peyton Manning? C.J. Spiller? Andy Dalton? J.J. Watt? What about Coach of the Year? Bill O’Brien? Bruce Arians? Ah yes, that’s why they play a full 16 games in the National. Football. League.
Let’s find out who’s the man, shall we?
32.) New York Giants (2014 record: 0-2; last week: 31) — It’s a little too early to determine the top college prospect for the 2015 NFL Draft, but I hope he’ll enjoy living in Manhattan because it’s going to be that kinda year for the G-Men.
31.) Oakland Raiders (0-2; 29) — I’ll let future hall of famer Charles Woodson handle this one: “We’re not very good … We suck. I am embarrassed.” OK, then.
30.) Jacksonville Jaguars (0-2; 30) — According to ESPN’s made up QBR that puts a quantitive score on how well an NFL quarterback performs, Chad Henne got a 4.1 this week. Four-point-one. If you’re scoring at home. We are officially on Blake Bortles watch.
29.) St. Louis Rams (1-1; 32) — Get blasted at home to the Vikings and win on the road against the Bucs; I’m certainly not going to try and figure out this team just two weeks in, but anything’s possible at this point. I’m ready for anything.
28.) Washington Redskins (1-1; 26) — Look, I love Robert as much as anyone. We are forever linked in basic cable television lore but his time as the starting quarterback of the Washington Redskins is over. This is Kirk Cousins’ team.
27.) Dallas Cowboys (1-1; 27) — It’s amazing what happens when the Cowboys stick to running the football and don’t let Tony Romo freelance behind the line of scrimmage to basically get himself beat to a pulp. What team shows up this week, however, is up in the air.
26.) Kansas City Chiefs (0-2; 24) — If Jamaal Charles is out for a considerable amount of time this team is in trouble, especially after its best defensive player tore his achilles.
25.) Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-2; 23) — First you lose to Derek Anderson, then you lose to Austin Davis. Oh, and both games were at home. And you’re supposed to be a playoff team. Something ain’t right down in Tampa Bay.
24.) Cleveland Browns (1-1; 28) — Did anyone give the Browns any kind of chance to beat the Saints last weekend? Nope. Turns out these aren’t your brother’s Browns. Tough. Hard-nosed. Brian Hoyer has moxie. Johnny sure looked good those two snaps, right?
23.) Tennessee Titans (1-1; 16) — How do you go from lambasting a playoff team on the road to getting thrashed at home by an inept pretender? Jake Locker looked great and then horrid. Can’t figure out this Titans squad so far.
22.) Minnesota Vikings (1-1; 14) — Umm, yeah, I don’t know what’s going on there as much as you do but one thing is for certain after the Vikings drubbing at the hand of New England last week: Teddy Bridgewater’s time is coming. Soon.
21.) New York Jets (1-1; 19) — Only the Jets could lose because their offensive coordinator called a time out just a split second before their second-year quarterback who may or may not be any good throws the greatest pass of his short NFL career to a young receiver who makes a leaping grab in the end zone to tie the game but it didn’t count and they go on to lose because of it.
20.) Houston Texans (2-0; 20) — Houston has beat the Redskins and Raiders, so not exactly world beaters, but starting the year 2-0 is impressive and J.J. Watt is on a mission to take over the world. I’m afraid just typing his name.
19.) Baltimore Ravens (1-1; 22) — Disaster week in Baltimore last week and considering what was swirling around that football team, what they were able to do on a short week against a good Steelers team; impressive to say the least.
18.) Atlanta Falcons (1-1; 13) — So the Falcons, after showing us their 2012 selves in Week 1, went and showed us their 2013 edition in Week 2. I’m not riding this roller coaster this season. Pick one and be done with it!
17.) Miami Dolphins (1-1; 9) — I was ready to be a believer in the Dolphins, I really was. But they got dominated by the Bills, even more so after Knowshon Moreno went out with an elbow injury.
16.) Detroit Lions (1-1; 12) — Everyone was saying, myself included, that the Lions needed to show us they could beat a tough team on the road before we would start taking them seriously; and we wait another week.
15.) Pittsburgh Steelers (1-1; 4) — It was pretty shocking this team let Cleveland get back in the game in Week 1 and then got completely outclassed last Thursday night against a Ravens team fighting controversy.
14.) Buffalo Bills (2-0; 25) — Buffalo has been the most surprisingly impressive team this far, defeating good teams on the road and at home, showing a knack for the big play and coming up with the defense when needed. Gotta see it consistently before I believe though.
13.) Chicago Bears (1-1; 21) — So the Bears, in eight quarters of football this season, have laid an absolute egg in six of them, and absolutely dominant in two. Lucky for them it’s the last two that’s been the most dominant.
12.) Arizona Cardinals (2-0; 18) — Narrowly edging the Chargers at home is sort of impressive, escaping against the Giants is not whatsoever. Not sure what to make of this team so far, but it’s nice that Larry Fitzgerald was targeted 500 times. Quiet his dad for a week.
11.) Indianapolis Colts (0-2; 6) — Why Chuck Pagano doesn’t just turn Andrew Luck loose is beyond me and probably most every Colts fan. But hey, at least Trent Richardson looked like a real life human functioning running back this week, right?
10.) New Orleans Saints (0-2; 7) — The Saints are a team with Super Bowl aspirations, and I know many out there picked them to be as such, but this stat is a very real one: only one team in the last 5 seasons has started the year 0-2 and made the playoffs.
9.) Philadelphia Eagles (2-0; 11) — The Eagles are the first team in NFL history to be trailing by 14-or-more points in their first two games and come back to win them both. Soooo maybe they should work on their starts, ya think?
8.) Green Bay Packers (1-1; 8) — How is it possible that Jordy Nelson doesn’t have the respect of defensive coordinators across the league just yet? All he goes out and does is dominate week-in and week-out. Great fortitude to bounce back after looking like a mess in falling behind 18 against the Jets.
7.) New England Patriots (1-1; 10) — Tom Brady is still pissed the offense isn’t clicking like it should but be honest, I wasn’t the only one panicking after the Vikings went up 7-0 Sunday very easily. What followed was the defensive performance we were all expecting from the Patriots.
6.) San Francisco 49ers (1-1; 3) — Talk about a tale of two halves in the opening game at Levi’s Stadium. Colin Kaepernick shows flashes of being one of the best players in the league, then he slips back down to looking like someone still struggling to pick it all up.
5.) San Diego Chargers (1-1; 15) — Boy, the Super Chargers sure showed the rest of the league something last Sunday, huh? Did they expose the Seahawks? I won’t go that far, but San Diego will be there come season’s end.
4.) Carolina Panthers (2-0; 17) — The Panthers win on the road in Week 1 without their starting quarterback and then do it again in Week 2 against one of the most explosive offenses in the NFL without their best defensive player.
3.) Seattle Seahawks (1-1; 1) — Seattle isn’t going undefeated and the big story is how all-world mouth team defensive back Richard Sherman got “exposed.” Well, he’s still wearing the ring so let’s all just calm down about that for a week or two.
2.) Cincinnati Bengals (2-0; 5) — The Bengals have been the most consistently balanced and impressive team in the league through the first two weeks. Let’s see it continue or maybe even in January.
1.) Denver Broncos (2-0; 2) — Peyton Manning threw three more TD passes, blah, blah, blah. Wake me when something legitimate happens in Denver.
LOS ANGELES — Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was recently the subject of some poor television producing when the topic of his spot in the NFL’s Top 5 QB Elite was discussed. Now, I didn’t pay this one ounce of attention because, well, duh, of course he’s still in there. But for a June conversation, it moved the dial and media outlets deprived of content this time of year ran with it and I’m sure their ratings reflected such discussion involving NFL royalty. Tim Tebow he is not, however.
Fantasy geeks who care only about on-field statistics have their theories as to what qualifies one as NFL Elite and where Brady currently ranks in today’s game. I have my own list but that’s not the point of his article. But to satisfy the stat-heads, let’s just look at basic quarterback measurables over the last three seasons to get an idea: Brady has 1,182 completions, thrown for 14,405 yards and 98 TDs, and just 31 INTs.
In my fantasy league with the scoring as follows – .25pts/comp, 40yds/pt, 6pts/TD and -2pts/INT – that calculates out to 1,181.63 points. There are 14 other QBs who have started a majority of their teams games in the last three seasons – I’ll throw Peyton Manning in there with his 2010 stats as well – so let’s see how they performed purely on a statistical basis:
- Drew Brees: 1,436 comp, 15,815 yards, 128 TD, 45 INT –> 1,432.38 pts
- Peyton Manning: 1,300 comp, 14,836 yards, 125 TD, 38 INT –> 1,369.9 pts
- Tom Brady: 1,182 comp, 14,405 yards, 98 TDs, 31 INT –> 1,181.63 pts
- Matthew Stafford: 1,227 comp, 14,655 yards, 90 TD, 52 INT –> 1,109.13 pts
- Aaron Rodgers: 907 comp, 11,444 yards, 101 TD, 20 INT –> 1,086.85 pts
- Matt Ryan: 1,208 comp, 13,411 yards, 87 TD, 43 INT –> 1,073.28 pts
- Tony Romo: 1,123 comp, 12,915 yards, 90 TD, 39 INT –> 1,065.63 pts
- Philip Rivers: 1,082 comp, 12,708 yards, 85 TD, 46 INT –> 1,006.2 pts
- Andy Dalton: 992 comp, 11,360 yards, 80 TD, 49 INT –> 914 pts
- Ben Roethlisberger: 983 comp, 11,601 yards, 75 TD, 36 INT –> 913.78 pts
- Eli Manning: 997 comp, 12,699 yards, 73 TD, 58 INT –> 888.73 pts
- Joe Flacco: 991 comp, 11,339 yards, 61 TD, 44 INT –> 809.23 pts
- Cam Newton: 882 comp, 11,299 yards, 64 TD, 42 INT –> 802.98 pts (does not include rushing stats/points)
- Alex Smith: 734 comp, 8,194 yards, 53 TD, 17 INT –> 672.35 pts
- Jay Cutler: 661 comp, 7,973 yards, 51 TD, 33 INT –> 604.58 pts
This last Monday, Brady, in so many words, said he didn’t care about those stats fantasy nerds get hard over, that wins and the final score are the only stats that matter to him. This fits with Brady’s Patriotsification over the years. Team first. Winning is all that matters. Get better each game. It is what it is. Of course, his quotes got me thinking about stats vs. wins so I looked them all up and wouldn’t you know the quarterback with the most wins in the last three seasons: Tom Brady.
Tom Terrific is 37-11 in the regular season since 2011, one ahead of Manning for the most in the league. Look at how the rest of the above fantasy studs compare when it comes down to straight wins and losses:
- Tom Brady 37-11
- Peyton Manning 36-12+
- Aaron Rodgers 31-9*
- Drew Brees 31-17
- Alex Smith 30-9-1++
- Andy Dalton 30-18
- Joe Flacco 30-18
- Matt Ryan 27-21
- Ben Roethlisberger 26-18^
- Cam Newton 25-23
- Eli Manning 25-23
- Tony Romo 24-23 **
- Philip Rivers 24-24
- Jay Cutler 22-14^^
- Matthew Stafford 21-27
* missed 7 games in 2013
+ includes 2010 season as Manning missed all of 2011
^ missed 4 games between 2010 & 2011
** missed 1 game in 2013
++ missed 8 games in 2012 & 2013
^^ missed 12 games in 2011, 2012 & 2013
Interesting how they line up, don’t you think? So, yeah, when Brady says he only cares about wins and the final score, he really knows what he’s talking about.
LOS ANGELES — It was two weeks later than normal, but the 2014 NFL Draft is finally here, as the first round gets underway shortly from Radio. City. Music. Hall. in New York City. Once again, I’ll be here to document all the action in running diary style. This is probably my favorite column of the year to write and definitely the longest. Things I’m looking forward to seeing tonight: where Johnny Manziel ends up, if someone straight up tackles Roger Goodell after their name gets called, just how bad Jerry Jones screws up the Cowboys pick, how loudly Jets fans boo their own selection and of course, what these soon-to-be millionaires are wearing. Let’s get this thing started.
4:15pmPT — We’re about 45 minutes out from the official start of this show. I’m posting up today at the lovely West Los Angeles abode of Andrew Siciliano, whom you know as the host of DirecTVs Red Zone coverage on Sundays and various programs on NFL Network. Hopefully some others joins us for what should be a fantastic evening of running commentary during this 1st Round.
4:18 — Johnny Manziel with Deion Sanders just said he was “blessed.” Over/under on how many times we’re gonna hear that today? 5,793? Wish Johnny would’ve went clean shaven, but hey, it’s his world and we’re all just living in it. Ha! He tosses it back to Rich. What a natural.
4:22 — What’s up with Jadeveon Clowney signing with Puma? Were Russell Athletic and Hutch not offering enough? Did Fila want none of that?
4:30 — So a list of the guys walk out songs has been released and we’re breaking down the draftees walk out music right now, or what AS is calling it, “draft up” music. Four Drake songs, Teddy Bridgewater coming out to R. Kelly and Cyrus Kouandjio has chosen Imagine Dragons. Sometimes the jokes write themselves. Maybe that’s why Teddy is falling.
4:35 — Draftees being introduced on the stage now. Blake Bortles was just introduced. Do we have an over/under on how many times they show his girlfriend? It’ll have to break the previous record of 8,000 set by Lauren Tannehill in 2012.
4:36 — Ha Ha Clinton Dix taking the early lead for best dressed with an Alabama crimson tuxedo jacket with a bow tie. And what is this music that’s playing? Didn’t know they turned Radio City into a club. Is Manziel’s girlfriend going to be coming out with the bottle service soon? When’s the foam party start?
4:38 — Jimmy Garappolo is dressed like he’s going to be selling insurance in 3 years. Which he very well might be… Marqise Lee looks like he should be parking cars as the valet at Boa tonight. Though he looks fantastic.
4:40 — Manziel, I think, just got booed. Which is awesome. Haters gon’ hate… Jake Matthews comes out and I ask AS who’s the biggest lock in the draft for a 10-year career and without hesitation he says Matthews. Maybe Greg Robinson…. Morgan Moses looks amazing with that beard and bow tie. Rick Ross style. “He looks like he’s actually Moses.”
4:42 — the bow tie revolution is real, people. Drew Christensen, NFLN researcher would be proud his influence has been passed down to this younger generation.
4:49 — We have now been joined by our former NFLN colleague Matt Abrams, so the commentary will be top notch. Also, AS just added a “Manziel” column to TweetDeck and it’s moving so fast you can’t read it. This guy knows how to move the needle.
4:53 – Kevin Sumlin Manziel’s former college coach, is with Deion Sanders about the Texas A&M guys, who could be 3 of the top 15 picks. What a fantastic mini fro he’s rocking right now, too. “Where would you like them to go?” Deion asks “I’d like them to come back.”
4:57 — We’re debating whether or not AS is as tall as Redskins owner Daniel Snyder. He said it’s close. Don’t ask how we got there.
5:00 — “this is kinda like the Hunger Games. We’re all gathered in the streets waiting for young men to be told where they will be going to relocated.”
5:01 — OK, let’s do this. Should be an exciting 1st Round. Of course, we’re watching NFL Network’s coverage of the events with Rich Eisen, Marshall Faulk, Steve Mariucci, Michael Irvin in a conservative suit again (wack) and Mike Mayock on the main desk. We also have ESPN on a smaller TV juut in case something different happens over there.
5:03 — our first RADIO. CITY. MUSIC. HALL of the night from Eisen. He’s gonna say this about 100 more times tonight so if you’re playing any Draft Drinking Games you’ve been warned. Mayock with the traditional 3-piece gangster suit. So OG.
5:04 — Goodell welcomes us to the Draft and is heavily getting booed, which has turned into a tradition unlike any other. You can have your Masters and Jim Nantz soothing voiceovers, I’ll take insanely drunk New Yorkers booing the commissioner. New York Fans are the best. Like I say every year. The best, Jerry.
5:05 — Manziel sitting at the table and it looks like he has a Rolex on because of course he does. Have a feeling he’s going to be waiting a long time tonight. Not sure why. Just do.
5:09 — Houston has been on the clock for 130 days, how have they not made a pick yet? 5 minutes to go, maybe they’re looking to trade, most likely. At this point I’m rooting for chaos. I want trades. I want missed picks. I want bear hugs and bling and Tupac as a walk out songs.
5:12 — “who cares about Houston, what are the Raiders gonna do? Probably something dumb.”
5:13 — THE PICK IS IN … OK, let’s do this, Houston. Whaddya got? It has to be Clowney. Can’t pass up on this guy. Mayock thinks it’s Clowney even though he loves Khalil Mack.
5:15 — Here’s Goodell. So many boos. Awesome … “the Houston Texans select … Jadeveon Clowney, defensive end, South Carolina” … and Clowney is crying. All of the tears. Love his hair. I’ll never have hair like that. This guy has been the top prospect and pick for the last 12 months. It would’ve been awesome if he didn’t go to college last year, but you know he was coasting just for this moment. Worth it.
5:16 — giant bear hug for Goodell. You don’t realize just how big Clowney is until he’s standing next to Goodell and Roger is a big, big man.
5:18 — We have already moved on to who the Rams are taking at #2 and we think it’s Greg Robinson. Remember Rams GM Les Snead went to Auburn.
5:22 — shot of the Rams party and there’s a guy there in a Colt McCoy Browns jersey. What the hell is going on?! Man, the Rams are set to succeed right now, if they only had a competent QB. I would love them to pick Manziel here or at 13. But it’s not happening.
5:24 — Goodell out for the Rams pick… “Greg Robinson, tackle, Auburn” … safe pick. This dude is literally the size of a brick shithouse and Bradford, if he’s going to be successful for once, needs to block everybody. Robinson hugging his mom in the green room. “I love this part,” Irvin says.
5:27 — “I won’t let you down.” Robinson says right into the camera to Rams fans. Jaguars on clock and what is taking them so long?! Why are they not taking Manziel?! They have to sell tickets!
5:30 — Pick is in for Jacksonville. Look at Shad Khan and that hair and mustache. Don’t be shocked if it’s Bortles, Mayock just said. Holy shit that would be insane… “Blake Bortles” is the pick. WOW!!! Our first stunner of the draft. I’m stunned. Unreal. Look at Manziel. He’s as stunned as we are. Hoping people from Central Florida make the trip up to Jacksonville.
5:33 — “You think Deion has any idea who this guy is?” someone in the room just said. Hilarious. And WHERE IS HIS GIRLFRIEND?!?!?! And they are partying in the streets in Jacksonville. Did Rich just say “rabid Jacksonville fan base”??
5:34 — and we have a trade! Cleveland swaps down with Buffalo… Bills have to take Mack or Watkins, right? Let’s see what Owl, my resident Bills fan and former Draft Diary sidekick, has to say about this … wow, Bills gave up two picks next year to move up. A 1 and 4. Unreal. What a chaotic few minutes.
5:36 — Bills pick is in … here’s Goodell … Sammy Watkins! E.J. Manuel is doing backflips where he is right now. Aside: you think Watkins can pick out Buffalo on a map? Does he own any winter clothing? “I bet the girls in Buffalo are just as hot as South Carolina.. oh wait, yeah, no.” That’s cold, Abrams.
5:38 — we’ve heard from Owl: “cool! bye Stevie!” … and Watkins takes a selfie with Goodell! That’s so awesome. First one of the draft, surely not the last. Look what Ellen started…. “I thought they was messing when they said they were taking me.” Watkins tells Deion. By the way, Watkins’ suit is awesome. Love the Clemson pin.
5:41 — this Draft is already better than last year’s. Wow. so great…. Goodell out for the Raiders … Khalil Mack… what value there. Never thought he’d fall to 5. Raiders defense is going to be legit next year with him, Justin Tuck and LaMarr Woodley… this guy looks like a freaking man. Dang.
5:43 — “his game tape against Ohio st. is the single greatest game tape against Ohio st. I’ve ever seen.” Does Mayock like hyperbole? … Now the Falcons are up at 6 and can take their tackle, the only question is if it’s Jake Matthews or Taylor Lewan … Faulk just said “now the Raiders have their Von Miller.” High praise (Nic Cage voice)
5:45 — Another shot of Manziel sitting and chilling as we hear Justin Timberlake to break. He’s definitely not going to Atlanta, could Tampa Bay be the landing spot? Who the hell knows at this point.
5:48 — EJ Manuel just tweeted 12 exclamation points and that’s it. He’s going nuts right now. He’s making it rain and drinking all the Hennessey.
5:50 — Before we get to more excitement, here’s Atlanta with some boring pick … Jake Matthews it is … he’s a lock for a 10-year career at least, 4 Pro Bowls. His pedigree is beyond ridiculous, and he looks like he’s 35… Shot of Falcons party and their RISE UP towels. Get excited for an offensive lineman!!
5:52 — Matt Ryan is sleeping a little easier tonight though. He got his ass kicked last year, and look at Matthews next to Goodell. He’s ripping through his suit like the Hulk. He’s gigantic. Matthews will probably play right tackle next year… great shot on ESPN of the Matthews football family tree. All that family does is procreate amazing football players. Much like the Brockmans except not.
5:57 — Bucs on the clock and who knows what they’re doing here. Mike Evans would be great to go along side Vincent Jackson … and ESPN can’t stop talking about Johnny Manziel … also, you want some comedy, do a quick twitter search of Ray Lewis right now.
5:59 — Mike Evans is the pick … so whomever is throwing him the ball should put up some monster numbers… hope Doug Martin is healthy … and we have another trade … Browns going up from 9 to 8 … who are they taking? Manziel?
6:01 — Who are the Browns moving up to take at 8? I want it to be Manziel, but it’s gotta be a corner, right? We are speculating Justin Gilbert? Marshall is standing up when talking about Mike Evans. He’s excited. This guy catches everything. Evans in tears. Love it when this happens. And we have our first Jesus Christ reference. Speaking of, what network do you think JC gets his coverage from: ESPN or NFLN?
6:03 — I just asked Richard Deitsch that on Twitter and he responded, “HBO.” Hilarious … the pick is in for the Browns and Irvin just called Mike Evans Calvin Johnson … who the hell knows what’s coming now with the Browns … could be anybody … Lewan or Gilbert is what AS says … Gilbert it is and such a let down … Yeah, this guy is good, but he’s not Johnny Football.
6:07 — I really like Justin Gilbert’s suit. He looks fantastic. Gilbert said he had a feeling a couple days ago that Cleveland might be a landing spot for him. And his favorite player was Deion growing up. This guy seems really polished.
6:08 — Vikings pick is in and Mayock says it’s either Darqueze Dennard or Anthony Barr, which is a little early for him. I’m thinking Aaron Donald, but no one is mentioning him. Mooch likes CJ Mosley… a “Who Drafts Manziel?” graphic to the right on NFLN and the Cowboys is at 58%. If he’s gonna side, please let him go there.
6:11 — OK, we’re getting backed up as the Lions have already made their pick … Vikings take Anthony Barr, who has tremendous upside and is our first pick who isn’t in New York. He’s at home in Ranchos Palos Verdes, Calif. That’s the way to do it. Big party at your house. “He has no idea what he’s doing” Mayock says. What does that even mean. That can’t be good, can it? “Exactly what you want from a top 10 pick.” Mayock contradicting himself already.
6:13 — and Barry Sanders is out to announce the Lions pick … the mic is too tall for him. He’s like Michael Dukakis. Move it down, Barry! and he thanks everyone for voting him on the cover of Madden last year. Get on with it… Lions take Eric Ebron tight end from UNC … what a day for him. He proposed to his GF on the top of the Empire State building this morning and now he’s a top 10 pick … Mayock is baffled by that. Is he locked into football or what? Wow, that offense is LOADED next year. Joseph Fauria is not dancing after this pick, either.
6:15 — this is a great spot for Ebron, I think. Big offense, they throw all the time. Lions are the new Patriots when it comes to tight ends. But honestly, what is he doing proposing? You’re about to be rich and you’re in the NFL. Parker Deay is pissed.
6:20 — Titans pick is in at #11 and it has to be a quarterback … I hope it’s Bridgwater to be honest, that would be hilarious … if we’re thinking about this logically, this is going to be Dennard or Taylor Lewan.
6:22 — Goodell’s out and it’s Taylor Lewan, the big ass tackle from Michigan… dang, Mrs. Lewan everybody. That’s some, um, yeah, upper body strength.
6:25 — So who goes to the Giants here? Has to be Zack Martin right now. Eli got sacked 8,000 times last year. They definitely need a receiver, but Odell Beckham is barely tall enough to ride the Superman at Six Flags.
6:29 — Giants take Odell Beckham. Wow! and look at that hair. He’s got the Honey Badger look going. And look at his watch. I hope that’s a rental. Irvin is loving Beckham. Here’s the question: Is Ei going to be upright long enough to throw it deep to him?
6:32 — look at the Rams and Cowboys war room as we bump to break with Manziel still sitting there waiting… and is that his sister sitting next to him? Some good genes in the Manziel family.
6:35 — Pick is in for the Rams at 13… they’ve been sending up this smokescreen that they’ve been interested in Manziel at this slot all week as Daniel Jeremiah throws out the idea of them taking Aaron Donald here, the best defensive lineman in the Draft, from Pittsburgh, which would make the Rams front line absolutely ridiculous.
6:38 — Shon Coleman, a cancer survivor who plays at Auburn out to make the pick and it’s Donald… wow. This line is insane. Chris Long, Robert Quinn, Michael Brockers and now Donald. How on earth do you run the football against these guys. And are you passing out of a 1-step drop? I guess if you play in the toughest division in football you need to load up on defense. Have to try and stop the 49ers and Seahawks somehow.
6:39 — shot of the Rams party and the Colt McCoy is still there. “So is Elvis.”
6:43 — Bears up now and here’s Goodell … Kyle Fuller, the Virginia Tech defensive back. Bears are a boring team when Brandon Marshall, Martellus Bennett or Smokin’ Jay Cutler aren’t involved, so I really don’t have much to say … Steelers on the clock.
6:46 — Pick is already in and Jed York tweets that Twitter might explode … is he just stirring the pot or what? Here’s Goodell … Ryan Shazier, the all-world linebacker from Ohio St. “He looks like Charlie Villanueva” … “he’s one of the fastest linebackers I’ve ever seen come out of college football.” Thanks, Mike.
6:48 — NFLN shows Shazier running his 40 in basically his underwear and Irvin mutters “that’s a big man.” … Cowboys now on the clock at 16 and the Manziel speculation is through the roof on both channels. “I’m sure Tony Romo is loving this.” – AS
6:49 — Seriously, what is going to happen here? Honestly. Aaron Rodgers tweets that this is going to be an interesting 10 minutes. So awesome. Can Jerry Jones contain himself? “does this not prove this is greatest reality show on earth?” – AS
6:51 — Johnny’s phone is not ringing. What the hell is going to happen????
6:52 — this is so excruciatingly awesome. The suspense is killing me. AS is standing and screaming at the TVs. “what are we waitng for?! The picks is in! Ozzie Newsome has made his pick already!” Goodell is smiling as he walks to the podium. He wants it to be Johnny so badly, just like the rest of us.
6:53 — and it’s Zack Martin. What a let down. Twitter is blowing up with tweets of disappointment. Myself included.
6:57 — We still can’t believe Jerry passed on Johnny and now we’re trying to figure out where he’s going. Several teams coming up legitimately need a QB including Arizona, Kansas City, Cincinnati, and maybe Philly because of Chip Kelly, who wanted to coach him at Oregon.
7:00 — C,J. Mosely is the pick for the Ravens. And is that his dad wearing a white fedora? Maybe an uncle. That is fantastic. He’s going to be a good player. Alabama is known for producing good football players, I’ve been told. #RollTide
7:01 — so we just did some research and the only team left with a first round pick that is eligible to appear on Hard Knocks this summer is the Arizona Cardinals. Guessing Johnny goes there. Imagine the show HBO can put on with Johnny?
7:03 — Jets on the clock and the fans are readying their pipes to boo loudly whomever it is.
7:07 — I hope you’re all enjoying these shots of Manziel sitting there waiting because you’re gonna see them for the next decade… and he hasn’t said one word to his sister or his mom.
7:09 — Jets take Calvin Pryor, the safety from Louisville … “this guy is a bigger bob Sanders” says Mayock.. “that means he’s hurt already?” AS on point. This is totally a Rex move here. He’s gonna love this guy.
7:12 — We go to break with another shot of Manziel, who is seen scrolling his phone, no doubt checking Twitter and as his blood slowly boils. Whenever he’s picked he’s going to be salty in the interview. No way he saw this fall coming, even though news of it was breaking all morning. And on queue, text from Owl: “No wonder you love Johnny Football so much. Every time they show him he’s on the phone.” Well played, sir.
7:14 — a giant-headed Dan Marino is fighting the Dolphins mascot. Rich makes sure everyone at home knows it’s not the real Dan Marino. “If that was the real Dan Marino, Boomer Esiason would be right behind him telling he sucks.” I’m not allowed to say who just said that.
7:18 — Dolphins pick is in and it’s Ja’Wuan James, the big tackle from Tennessee and a few “wows” from the set. “The more tape I watch on this kid, the more I like him” says Mayock. Well there you go. We thought it was going to be Cyrus Killamanjaro.
7:19 — and the Saints have moved up into the 20 spot, swapping with Arizona, and this has to be a receiver, right? Marshall suspects that the saints want to get better on defense in the secondary and Dennard is still available.
7:23 — Saints swap picks and throw in a 3rd rounder this year (91st overall). Marshall likes Brandin Cooks here while Mayock thinks it might be Dennard. they need both positions to be honest.
7:25 — Ian Rapoport saying that Jerry Jones didn’t openly campaign to take Manziel but the room did have thoughtful discussion… and the Commish is out to announce the pick … Brandin Cooks it is… Drew Brees is very happy right now. Another weapon. Irivin compares him to Antonio Brown. We speculate that New Orleans must have thought the Eagles were taking him at 22.
7:27 — Packers on the clock and we’re thinking it’s either Ha Ha or Jace Amaro, the big tight end from Texas Tech … ESPN has something called the Bud Light Blue Room, which isn’t a room at all, it’s just Suzy Kolber on the stage and there’s no blue anywhere. Smart.
7:31 — graphic with a tweet from Mark Ingram about Johnny Manziel which is completely pointless. “great tweet Mark, you’re about a good a tweeter as you are a running back.” Also from someone in the room.
7:32 — Packers should probably take Ha Ha Clinton Dix since no one in that division can play any defense and they have to face the Bears and Lions twice who have tons of receivers… shot of the Packers war room and they’re all clapping and af ew fist bumps for Ted Thompson. They are happy. Mayock says Ted is an “old school scout.” … “And by that you mean he’s old and once went to school.” all of the jokes in here.
7:34 — Goodell is out and Dix is the pick. Well done. “He’s gonna sign his contract and then deliver caviar.” Nick Saban right there in the Chris Brockman role as Hat Guy. Seriously, Dix is amazingly dressed. Seriously, top notch. “That’s what swag is called, everybody at home.” Marshall has said swag 5 times in the last 30 seconds.
7:35 — maybe the tweet of the night from Jon Heyman about Dix.
7:37 — quick switch to ESPN and Gruden is going crazy at the thought of Andy Reid taking Johnny Manziel at 23.
7:40 — AND WE HAVE A TRADE!!! The Browns have moved up to 22 and swapped with Eagles here. Room thinks it’s Bridgewater… Mayock thinks it’s Cyrus Killamanjaro (I know that’s not his name, relax)… “the Dawg Pound will be celebrating if it’s Johnny Manziel.” Swapped picks and added a 3rd rounder this year (83rd overall)… this is going to be a boring pick. I just know it.
7:42 — and here we go … JOHNNY CLEVELAND!!!!!!!!!!!
7:43 — Johnny was the 22nd pick. So was Brady Quinn and Brandon Weeden and Tim Couch wore #2. I’m not sure what that means but if anyone can break the curse it’s JFF.
7:46 — I’m the biggest Browns fan next season. And Sicliano is going nuts right now. He just pulled out his Tim Couch jersey and I’ve convinced him to put tape over it. “I’m gonna pour my heart out for this team and this organization.” Johnny is going to kill it in Cleveland.
7:48 — “I’m gonna bring excitement wherever I go.” Yeah you are, Johnny. Wow, look at this guy. He’s a freaking Beatle.
7:51 — Everything after this is the air out of the balloon… as Goodell comes out to announce Dee Ford, who said he was better than Clowney at the Combine, to the Chiefs.
7:57 — Bengals are up at 24 and take Dennard as Abrams punches the couch, hoping he’d be there at 25 for his Chargers. Great value. Didn’t think he’d fall that far.
7:59 — approaching the 3-hour mark of the draft and the Chargers pick is already in … Rapoport and DJ are saying the Browns aren’t done making moves and that they might move back into the first round to take possibly Marqise Lee. Browns aren’t screwing around.
8:02 — getting word of a great Scott Fujita tweet about having a condo to rent or sell Johnny. That’s awesome… and we get out first couch shot of Derek Carr and his girlfriend at home waiting. That’s all I’m going to say about that.
8:03 — Chargers take Jason Verrett who is tiny and dressed like a mortician but he can play and has a ton of hair.
8:05 — Siciliano is on the phone with his dad trying to talk him into the Johnny pick. Words being said over and over again: “gamble” “wow factor” “exciting”… AS might as well be working for the Browns PR department right now.
8:10 — Eagles take Louisville defensive lineman Marcus Smith, and camera cuts to a distraught Eagles fan as Mayock says the fan “has no idea who he is,” while then saying it’s a great pick and addresses a need.
8:12 — Cardinals up now, who traded down … gotta think Bridgewater and Carr are in play right now.
8:14 — cameras following Manziel throughout the Radio City doldrums like it’s Goodfellas at the Copa. Great shot. And he gives Brandin Cooks a hug. That’s awesome. Can the Browns do Hard Knocks next year?
8:16 — Cardinals take Deone Bucannon, which elicits a few groans and is definitely a reach, but that sures up their secondary big time. AFC West loading up on defense. Shot of the Cards party: “all of those fans bought their jerseys this morning.” NFL Media fantasy editor Michael Fabiano has 60k more followers than the official Cards account, by the way.
8:18 — Panthers on the clock and what are they waiting for. Get up there and take Marqise Lee .. ok good, here’s the commish … Kelvin Benjamin! Wow, there you go. I like this guy. He’s enormous. Reminds me of Marques Colston. “now you get a guy who’s area code is the catching range… reminds me a lot of Brandon Marshall.” Well then, high praise: “could be one of the biggest steals in this draft.”
8:20 — Patriots on the clock at 29 and Jace Amaro is available… or will they trade down AGAIN? Need to get somebody for Tom Brady or maybe some defensive line help.
8:25 — the Patriots have kept their pick and I’m shocked … Dominique Easley, defensive end from Florida is the guy. NFLN has a bio board and it’s noted he’s had not one, but two ACL surgeries. Awesome. It’s not enough the Pats have two old guys on the d-line, now they have one with bad knees. Uninspired.
8:29 — 49ers pick is in at 30 … fans are going NUTS at the their draft party …
8:32 — Jimmie Ward is the pick and Mayock immediately says “wow” and thought he was a second or third round pick… they are not surprisingly less NUTS at the 49ers party.
8:37 — Two picks to go and Mayock is praising Cleveland and what they did tonight: “give them credit for moving up and down the board and getting great value.”
8:38 — Broncos take Bradley Roby the defensive back from Ohio St. There’s some jokes here about some off-the-field issues between the front office and the player, but I’m not going to make them.
8:39 — also it’s been more than 3 hours and we still haven’t seen Blake Bortles’ girlfriend. Is she OK? Do I need to fly to NYC and find her? I’m willing to do whatever it takes here.
8:42 — and the Vikings have traded up to 32 and the guys are guessing they’re taking Bridgewater. It’s either him or Carr. Definitely a quarterback here.
8:45 — OK, here we go, Goodell out for the last time tonight … Vikings take Bridgewater … “you don’t have to come back tomorrow, that’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you,” the room says. Good for this kid. Seems like a genuine great kid. Poor pro day made him slip, but still a first rounder… Mayock saying he needs to get stronger but has good intangibles … “loves the game of football.” Me too.
8:46 — this just in: 25% of the first round picks are from Florida. I’ll give you one guess who Tweeted that out … thought Bridgewater would be there for Houston to start the second round, but good job by Minnesota to go up and get a starter… here’s Deion with Teddy: “made my mind up were gonna live in the moment and be anxious for nothing.” well done.
8:48 — OK, that’s gonna do it from here. Very fun start to the 2014 NFL Draft. Definitely a few surprises and of course, we were all captivated by Manziel falling but a lot of good stuff happened tonight. Cleveland made themselves better, for once Jerry Jones did the smart thing and Houston took the best player. Minnesota also helped themselves, as did St. Louis. And I hope you’re ready Rock City, Johnny Football is coming. Once again, no running backs were taken in the first round, and no player from USC or Miami, as their grip on this process loosens slightly. Can’t wait to see what the rest of the weekend brings.
By SHAWN BRADLEY
Special to The Chris Brockman Website
LOS ANGELES — Moving this year’s NFL Draft to May 8th has proved to be a disaster for pundits and fans alike. The torturous wait is almost over though and the First Round should provide fantastic theatre. This years class could prove to be the greatest of all-time and there’s a good chance we see multiple trades that will create seismic shifts to league landscape. However, predicting such deals is a useless exercise, so for Volume 2 of this Mock Draft we’ll pretend each team is pinned down to it’s original slot. To add a little more drama to this piece, we’re starting at the bottom, and like Drake said, soon well be here. I don’t know exactly where “here” is, but for these soon-to-be NFLers they hope it’s Radio City Music Hall this Thursday.
32.) SEATTLE SEAHAWKS — CODY LATIMER, WR, Indiana
Latimer has been rapidly climbing up draft boards after running a 4.38 forty during an stud pro day performance. Surrounded by sub-par talent at Indiana, Latimer battled through a foot injury to up impressive numbers (72 catches, 1,096 yards, 9 TDs) in 2013. His size (6-foot-2, 215 lbs), speed and strength (he led Combine WRs with 23 reps on the bench press) make him an ideal candidate to replace Golden Tate in Seattle.
31.) DENVER BRONCOS — RYAN SHAZIER, LB, Ohio St.
Following their offseason spending spree, the Broncos most glaring need is at inside linebacker. Shazier ran a blazing 4.38 forty a his pro day despite carrying 237 pounds, while also posting a 42 inch vertical leap, highest of any player at this years Combine. Athletically, Shazier is a rare breed and having him join DeMarcus Ware and Von Miller on the front seven should give Denver a defensive identity to go along with that record-setting offense.
30.) SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS — KONY EALY, LB, Missouri
Ealy provides Aldon Smith insurance for a 49ers team that appears to be crumbling under the weight of past success. Physically, Ealy (6-foot-4, 273lbs) is almost identical to Smith (6’4, 265) and the very thought of having these two Missouri products rushing off opposite edges should give offensive coordinators fits. Ealy could also bulk up and move down to end whenever 35-year old Justin Smith decides to hang it up.
29.) NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS — DEONE BUCANNON, S, Washington St.
In his on-going arms race with the Broncos, Bill Belichick keeps an eye on January by completing his renovation of New England’s secondary. A four-year starter who led the Pac-12 in tackles this past season, Bucannon flies to the football with abandon – he forced 7 fumbles to go with 15 interceptions during his career at Washington State. Deploying Darrelle Revis, Brandon Browner, Devin McCourty and Bucannon gives Belichick a chance at stifling Peyton Manning Seahawks-style.
28.) CAROLINA PANTHERS — MOSES MORGAN, T, Virginia
Cam Newton’s lack of pass catchers has been well documented this offseason but his lack of pass protection should be an even bigger concern. Long-time left tackle Jordan Gross called it quits after 2013 and Moses (6-foot-6, 314lbs) would become his immediate – and long-term – successor. Ankle surgery currently has Newton in a walking boot so he’d surely enjoy having a long armed (35 3/8″) body guard like Morgan watching his back this season.
27.) NEW ORLEANS SAINTS — KELVIN BENJAMIN, WR, Florida St.
Lance Moore and Darren Sproles are gone, plus Marques Colston will be 31 when the season kicks off – time to find a new target for Drew Brees. Benjamin possesses imposing size at 6-foot-5, 240lbs and came out of nowhere to catch 15 TDs in 14 games for the Seminoles, averaging a score every 3.6 receptions. With Jimmy Graham, Colston and Benjamin all measuring in at 6’4 or taller, Brees should be unstoppable in the red zone.
26.) CLEVELAND BROWNS — JASON VERRETT, CB, TCU
Just like his old boss Rex Ryan, Mike Pettine needs high quality corners for his defense to thrive. Verrett’s speed (4.38) and swagger make his height (5-foot-9) irrelevant and the Browns currently have someone named Buster Skrine atop the depth chart across from All-Pro Joe Haden. When your division rivals have guys like A.J. Green and Antonio Brown the secondary becomes primary – Cleveland can wait 8 more picks to take a quarterback like Zach Mettenberger, Tom Savage or Aaron Murray.
25.) SAN DIEGO CHARGERS — KYLE FULLER, CB, Virginia Tech
After facing Peyton Manning three times last season the Chargers can’t pass on a corner like Fuller. Because of a hernia, Fuller played in just three games in 2013 – and he still picked off two passes and defended 10 others (4th in the ACC). Last year, San Diego GM Tom Telesco picked Keenan Allen, who was coming off a significant injury, so he can only hope Fuller is just as productive off the bat.
24.) CINCINNATI BENGALS — BRADLEY ROBY, CB, Ohio St.
Leon Hall is coming off a torn ACL while Dre Kirkpatrick can only be considered a bust at this point, so Cincinnati could certainly use an upgrade at corner. Even though he was burned repeatedly in 2013, Roby is so physically gifted that he has become one of the Draft’s late risers. Roby recently came close to driving over some kids after ingesting alcohol but since when have the Bengals been scared off by character concerns?
23.) KANSAS CITY CHIEFS — JOEL BITONIO, G, Nevada
For the second straight year, Andy Reid tries to bolster his offensive line by spending a first round pick on a left tackle. However Bitonio, who started 38 games on the blindside at Nevada, will move to right guard to fill a gaping hole for the Chiefs. Bitonio has a nasty streak, often finishing blocks beyond the whistle and he’s become a favorite of offensive line coaches around the league fallowing his Senior Bowl and Combine performances.
22.) PHILADELPHIA EAGLES — MARQISE LEE, WR, USC
While at still at Oregon, Chip Kelly sat front row while Lee piled up 20 catches for 344 yards and 3 touchdowns in 2 games against the Ducks. Lee owns or shares an astounding 22 USC records despite the fact that he left school early following a disappointing junior season. It’ll be an interesting story line to watch as Lee endures season long comparisons to DeSean Jackson in Philly.
21.) GREEN BAY PACKERS — CJ MOSLEY, LB, Alabama
After winning the Butkus Award in the middle of Nick Saban’s 3-4 defense, Mosley is a perfect schematic fit for Dom Capers. The Packers allowed almost 27 points per game last season, so a sideline-to-sideline tackling machine like Mosley would be a welcome addition. With Julius Peppers and Clay Matthews attacking off the edge – plus Mosley patrolling the middle, Green Bay could be headed for a defensive resurgence in 2014.
20.) ARIZONA CARDINALS — CALVIN PRYOR, S, Louisville
Amazingly Teddy Bridgewater won’t be the first Louisville Cardinal to be selected in 2014. Pryor plays with violence and is constantly around the ball wreaking havoc. Adding a sledgehammer safety like Pryor to go along with Patrick Peterson, Antonio Cromartie and a healthy Tyrann Mathieu gives Arizona perhaps the NFL’s most talented secondary.
19.) MIAMI DOLPHINS — XAVIER SU’A FILO, T, UCLA
With all the top-tier tackles off the board, Miami fills its hole at right guard with the 6-foot-4, 307-pound Samoan from UCLA. Su’a Filo was a captain and even got voted the Bruin’s offensive MVP in 2013. After becoming the first true freshman in school history to start as a freshman, Su’a Filo spent two years on a Mormon mission and he should bring a level of maturity that the Dolphins offensive line has been missing recently.
18.) NEW YORK JETS — BRANDIN COOKS, WR, Oregon St.
Steadily improving its anemic offense, here the Jets add the speedy Cooks to free agent acquisitions Eric Decker, Michael Vick and Chris Johnson. Cooks put up eye-popping numbers (128 catches, 1,730 yards, 16 TDs) on his way to winning the Biletnikoff award before scorching a 4.33 forty at the Combine. Former Eagles and current Jets OC Marty Mornhingweg, who attended Cooks’ pro day at Oregon State, might be envisioning a DeSean Jackson type role for the diminutive receiver.
17.) BALTIMORE RAVENS — ODELL BECKHAM, JR., WR, LSU
Even with a $100-million quarterback, Baltimore averaged just 6.3 yards per pass attempt – same as the Jaguars. New Ravens receiver Steve Smith should serve as the perfect mentor for Beckham, Jr., who just like Smith, plays much bigger than his size (5-foot-11, 198lbs). Beckham, Jr. is also explosive in the return game, bringing back two punts for touchdowns during his final season in Baton Rouge.
16.) DALLAS COWBOYS — HA HA CLINTON-DIX, CB, Alabama
You get the feeling that Jerrah is jonesing to make a splash with a dramatic deal but nabbing the Draft’s best safety at 16 would be a nice consolation prize. Clinton-Dix is a rangy ball hawk who collected 7 interceptions in his brief Alabama career and he should be a huge upgrade for the worst defense in Cowboy’s history. Dallas currently boasts Barry Church and J.J. Wilcox atop their depth chart at safety; enough said.
15.) PITTSBURGH STEELERS — DARQUEZE DENNARD, CB, Michigan St.
Pittsburgh’s secondary has been decaying for years and Dennard’s physicality makes him a good fit for Dick LeBeau’s defense. The Steelers intercepted just 10 passes last season, a number which should improve if the 2013 Thorpe Award winner ends up wearing Black and Gold. Having to go up against Josh Gordon and A.J. Green four games a year makes this an easy pick for Mike Tomlin.
14.) CHICAGO BEARS — AARON DONALD, DT, Pittsburgh
Donald would join Lamarr Houston and Jared Allen as the Bears rebuild a unit that gave up a league worst 161.4 rushing yards a game. Posting 11 sacks in 2013, Donald displays rare pass rushing ability for an interior lineman and that’s more good news for a Chicago defense that tied for last with just 31 QB takedowns. Being relatively undersized is the only thing keeping the ACC Defensive Player of the Year out of the top 10.
13.) ST. LOUIS RAMS — JUSTIN GILBERT, CB, Oklahoma
The top tier tackles are off the board in this scenario – but the Rams have another glaring weakness in the secondary. Gilbert had seven picks this past season, returning two for touchdowns and he’ll be the #1 corner right away for a defense that gave up an embarrassing 8.1 yards per pass attempt in 2013. Gilbert also has value as a return man, using his 4.37 speed to return six kickoffs for touchdowns during his four years at Oklahoma State.
12.) NEW YORK GIANTS — ZACK MARTIN, G, Notre Dame
Big Blue struggled to block anyone last season allowing Eli Manning to be sacked a career-high 39 times in 2013. A two-time captain who started every game of his Notre Dame career, Martin’s tenacity more than makes up for the fact that he lacks ideal size (6-foot-4, 308lbs) and length. Versatile enough to play anywhere along the line, Martin will help a Giants team that has serious concerns at both left tackle and right guard.
11.) TENNESSEE TITANS — ANTHONY BARR, LB, UCLA
Ken Whisenhunt will wait until round 2 for a quarterback and take a chance on Barr, who appears to be a classic boom-or-bust pick. Barr played only 2 seasons at linebacker after converting from running back, but in those two years he accumulated 23.5 sacks. At 6-foot-5, 255 pounds, Barr looks like an ideal fit for the attacking 3-4 defense new defensive coordinator Ray Horton brings to Tennessee.
— Check back soon for picks 10 through 1
LOS ANGELES — With apologies to Don Draper and Walter White, an argument could be made the two most popular television programs in the country right now are anything involving the National Football League and “Game of Thrones.” So, logically, we here at The Chris Brockman Website decided to combine the two, matching our favorite backstabbers, schemers, and philanderers of Westeros with their respective NFL counterparts. You don’t need to be a loyal book reader of the George R.R. Martin series to appreciate these footballers are who we say they are. (some spoilers ahead)
TYWIN LANNISTER — Bill Belichick, Patriots: Leader of a dynasty and the self-proclaimed “smartest guy in the room,” the similarities between Belichick and the eldest Lannister are endless. Watching Tywin talk down to his Small Council, you can almost hear his Belichikian tone. All that’s missing is cutoff armor and hooded chainmail. There’s no question these two weathered veterans are winners, leaders, and probably not as smart as they or everyone thinks they are. But any time they’re on camera, you can’t look away.
TYRION LANNISTER — Steve Smith, Panthers: Both the undersized Carolina receiver and the Imp have been counted out their whole adult lives because of their physical stature, and while Tyrion has used his brain to get ahead, Smith has used his giant heart and fierce determination. The pair are extremely crafty despite being overlooked from most. Additionally, and this is a point we can’t harp on enough, each are equally despised by their own family as evidenced by Joffrey trying to have Tyrion killed at the Battle of Blackwater, and Smith getting in multiple fights with teammates and his alleged feud with Cam Newton.
BRONN — Aaron Rodgers, Packers: Money and winning are the only pure motivators for Bronn, who is fearless, reckless, and doesn’t play by anybody’s rules. Sounds a lot like the newly-minted, richest-man-in-the-NFL Rodgers if you ask me. Bronn is also funny – have you seen a Rodgers post-game press conference? – and petty – Rodgers got miffed at “60 Minutes” for suggesting he was short for a quarterback. Just not sure if the evil notions in Green Bay come free.
PODRICK PAYNE THE SQUIRE — Josh Scobee, Jaguars: Podrick has proved to have a way with the ladies, to the amazement of Tyrion and Bronn, and the same can be said for Scobee, who has one of the hotter wives in the NFL. Like the young squire, Scobee, as a kicker, knows his role on the team and when to speak up. And like Podrick saved his Lord’s life at the Battle of Blackwater, Scobee on occasion has lifted his teammates to victory in the closing seconds with a game-winning kick.
JAIME LANNISTER — Eli Manning, Giants: By virtue of being a Manning, Eli was automatically enshrined into NFL royalty, and like the one-handed Lannister, Eli has shown his prowess for taking what he wants. You could easily pass on the moniker “Kingslayer” to No. 10 for taking down the league’s Golden Boy not once, but twice in the Super Bowl, thusly denying Tom Brady championships 4 and 5.
WALDER FREY — Al Davis, Raiders: Old, crotchety, respected and always one to hold a grudge, there may not be a better Game of Thrones / NFL match that these two, especially after what took place at the Red Wedding. Davis is renowned for suing the league he helped create and living by his “Just Win, Baby” mantra, and well, we all know how Lord Frey likes to party.
BRIENNE OF TARTH — Joe Thomas, Browns: It takes someone lacking fear to defend a blindside, and no one does that better than Joe Thomas, even though whichever QB the Browns trot out any given Sunday is likely worthless. And like Brienne, a left tackle has to be big, bullheaded, and full of duty and honor. Often overlooked in the stat line, like the lady of Tarth, Thomas often has an impact when his master is unscathed.
DAENERYS TARGARYEN — Russell Wilson, Seahawks: Like the Mother of Dragons emerged from a hopeless girl to dominate across the Narrow Sea, Wilson came out of nowhere to be a real NFL power player after a breakout 2012 season. And while Khaleesi now has a trio of new weapons in her dragons, Wilson now has Percy Harvin’s plethora of talents at his disposal. Both are now major contenders to wear the crown after being unknowns when the season (and show) began.
JORAH MORMONT — Pete Carroll, Seahawks: Jorah was disgraced and booted out of Westeros, which is not unlike Carroll’s tail-between-his-legs exit from Southern Cal following the Reggie Bush scandal. Now, both are fortunate to have fallen into backing big-time winners. Loyal, slick, wise, and cheerleaders, Jorah and Carroll are cut from the same mold and seem to have positioned themselves for long-term success.
BARRISTAN SELMY — Dick LeBeau, Steelers: It’s not often that a battle-tested warrior lives to become an old man in the Seven Kingdoms, much like the NFL translates to “Not For Long.” So it makes sense that Barristan and LeBeau are counterparts. A pair of grizzly veterans of the game, they’ve seen it all, done it all, and have survived to pass on their defensive genius to a new crop of players.
ROBB STARK — Tom Brady, Patriots: Brady is the unquestioned leader of the North, untouchable, and received this tutelage from the best; very similar to Robb, who trained under his well-respected father, Ned. And like Robb, Brady has had moments of resounding brilliance (multiple Super Bowl championships & MVPs) and ones of shake-your-head foolishness (dancing in Brazil, water sliding, ridiculous haircuts). Brady’s big-game performance of late has also matched well with the eldest Stark son, whose actions have left his men wondering if he’s fit to be King.
TALISA STARK — Gisele Bundchen: Like Talisa, Gisele stole the heart of the King of the North, and an argument could be made both Robb Stark and Tom Brady haven’t won anything since. Brady has come up short in two Super Bowls since hooking up for the former Victoria’s Secret model. Stark, meanwhile, has upset his own men, soiled the faith of an ally, and been blundering away strategic position since shacking up with the battlefield Volantis nurse.
EDDARD STARK — Brett Favre: One of only two deceased GOT characters to make the list is a fitting match for Favre. Both Ned Stark and the Ole’ Gunslinger were honorable statesmen, loyal to their homeland for many, many years before abandoning what they knew for the perils of the Big City. Favre jettisoned Green Bay for New York and then Minnesota, figuring his built-up good faith would carry over into this new surroundings, not realizing he was out of his element. And while Ned showed he could hang briefly at King’s Landing – like Favre’s career year with the Vikings – he ultimately ended up backstabbed and without his head; Favre’s magical journey ended on the sideline, consecutive games-played streak history, and after he retired, he’s barely been heard from.
JON SNOW — Wes Welker, Broncos: You could say undrafted players are the bastard children of the NFL, which would make Welker much more than Jon Snow given his success. And whether it was by his own doing or not, Welker left the safe haven of the North and joined up with the enemy on the other side of The Wall, or on his case, the Rocky Mountains. If Welker is still working for his new team’s enemy or knows more than nothing, a la Snow, has yet to be seen.
BRAN STARK — Adrian Peterson, Vikings: Both heirs of the North, Bran was thrown from a tree and lost the use of his legs, while Peterson was chopped down and needed reconstructive knee surgery. Bran has since been running like the wind in his dreams, while Peterson went out and nearly broke the NFL single-season rushing record in 2012. You almost get the feeling that Bran is destined for great things and likewise Peterson is only scratching the surface of what he could accomplish, especially after his recent 2,500-yard pronouncement.
ROOSE BOLTON — Bill Parcells: So let’s say you’ve worked your entire career for one team, had a lot of success with that team and grown really close to that team. Now let’s say, a little later on you went to work for that team’s most hated rival because they paid you a lot of money and it’s gotten to the point so much that your other team doesn’t even know you anymore. Maybe you died your hair blond, I don’t know. That would make you kind of a traitor, huh? Thought so.
HODOR — Rob Gronkowski, Patriots: Could you imagine if Gronkowski had a press conference and just said, “Hodor, Hodor, Hodor” every time someone asked him a question? It would be the greatest YouTube moment in sports. Just a big, lovable galoof is what Hodor is, and you could make a serious argument that’s exactly what Gronk is, only with more alcohol. Now if we can just get GOT’s writers to work in “Yo Soy Fiesta” as a battle cry.
THEON GREYJOY — Mark Sanchez, Jets: No one has taken public abuse and been the brunt of more media scrutiny (warranted or otherwise) and sports radio rants than Sanchez, who like Theon, can’t seem to get out of his own way. Seemingly the toast of the New York only a few years ago when he had the Jets in the AFC Championship, Sanchez is practically in shackles after the drafting of Geno Smith. Theon tried to make a bold move in taking Winterfell only to have it backfire into this weird torture play that’s hashing out slowly in Season 3. Neither is a bad guy on the surface, and unfortunately not a winners either, and I suspect both will have an unhappy ending.
STANNIS BARATHEON — Jay Cutler, Bears: When coming up with words to describe Stannis a few immediately came to mind: dull, boring, and pussy-whipped. That led me to only one NFL counterpart: Jay Cutler. Who else embodies Stannis’ spirit of being at times awesome at his position while being an enormous d-bag? Stannis had his best friend, Davos, thrown in jail! Doesn’t that remind you of Cutler screaming at his offensive line for getting sacked all the time? Literally all that’s missing is a Smokin’ Stannis Baratheon Tumblr page and we have Internet perfection.
DAVOS — Ronde Barber, Buccaneers: Davos stood by his King, Stannis, until the bitter end at the Battle of Blackwater, and you could say the same for Ronde, who remained a faithful Buccaneer following their Super Bowl title in 2003, when he no doubt had opportunities to just ship and play for a contender. While he didn’t get made to walk the plank by ownership, he might have well been, as Tampa Bay went 69-91 over the next decade.
JOFFREY BARATHEON — Tim Tebow: The most hated man in the Seven Kingdoms easily could be the most talked about, over-hyped, and dare I say, hated man in the NFL in Tim Tebow. Both Joffrey and Tebow were unfairly placed in their position of power (one by his scheming mother, the other by the scheming media machine and Josh McDaniels) and seemingly have no idea what to do. Joffrey can’t lead his men at the Battle of Blackwater, and while leading seems to be only what Tebow can do, his elsewhere skills so limited at the pro level, as evidenced by his current ouster from the league all together. Joffrey, meanwhile, doesn’t seem likely to sit on the Iron Throne for much longer.
ROBERT BARATHEON — Rex Ryan, Jets:Robert was a terrible king, but by all accounts, a great guy to be around, and he was a helluva warrior. Rex really isn’t that great of a head coach, but he sure looks like he’d be a fun guy to go to the Old Country Buffet with, and he used to scheme a good defense. Robert really liked fathering bastards and Rex, well, he liked to, well, make weird videos with his wife. Both were blubbering idiots who were mostly all show and no go. We know what happened to Robert, so I’m guessing Rex’s days are numbered.
GENDRY — Andrew Luck, Colts: Whether he knows it or not, Gendry is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, and by virtue of Peyton Manning’s bum neck, Luck is the future of NFL quarterbacking. The best prospect at the position since the man he replaced, Luck’s upside is exponential, especially after his record-breaking rookie campaign. And the best thing about him, is there’s no ego. Much like Gendry, who just wants to be a part of SOMEthing, Luck is happy to be here and help his team win. The future is bright for both these young, goofy men.
SANDOR CLEGANE — Ben Roethlisberger, Steelers: Natural counterparts, The Hound and Roethlisberger are both larger than life, fierce warriors, and survivors of life-altering facial injuries – Big Ben’s after his June 2006 motorcycle accident and The Hound’s after his brother shoved him in a fire. Both like to party (though Ben’s days appear to be over) and never back down from a challenge. Ben is known for always playing through pain and keeping plays alive by being nearly impossible to take down, and The Hound is lauded whooping serious ass and being loyal to those he has a soft spot for.
PETYR BAELISH — Jerry Jones, Cowboys: No other owner can truly stake claim to being the NFL’s Lord of Coin like Jerry Jones, who out of his own pocket practically built the world’s greatest sports stadium. Like Baelish, Jones is extremely crafty and always scheming (how else do you explain the multitude of Draft-day trades?), likens himself as the smartest guy in the room (what other owner is also his team’s General Manager?) and commands an audience. Though you get the feeling others in Westeros laugh at Littlefinger behind his back, as I suspect those across the NFL do as the Cowboys blunder away season after season.
VARYS — Mike Shanahan, Redskins: Not similar in stature but definitely in mind, Varys and Shanahan are without a doubt the ultimate backroom deviants who know who they are and are completely comfortable in their own skin. Varys waited his whole lifetime to get his revenge on the mad scientist who crippled him while Shanahan lived through all the Raiders madness before achieving success with the Broncos. Now, he has the ear of Robert Griffin III and knows good things are on the horizon.
BERIC DONDARRION — Peyton Manning, Broncos: Manning being able to come back and have the kind of MVP 2012 season that he did after four, count ’em four, neck surgeries is damn near the equivalent of Beric coming back from the dead a half dozen times after suffering fatal battle wounds. You could also make the argument now Manning is closer to the Lord of Light given Denver’s mile-high altitude, but you’d need to check with Thoros first, since he’s the one who actually returns Beric from the other side, which we know is dark. Speaking of.
THOROS OF MYR — John Elway, Broncos: If it wasn’t for Elway and his belief in Manning returning to his Colts championship and MVP form, then the Broncos No. 18 jersey wouldn’t be flying off shelves at ludicrous speed in the 303 and 720. It’s well known The Duke likes to throw ’em back, too, and that fits well with the Brotherhood Without Banners’ red priest’s mantra of getting drunk and searching for ways to swindle gold. Thoros was a renowned warrior who now is an adviser of sort to Beric, which fits well with Elway, who is arguably the greatest quarterback in NFL history and is doing a mighty fine job thus far as an executive.
MANCE RAYDER — Clay Matthews, Packers: Maniacs, defensive leaders who don’t play by anyone’s rules but their own, and strong men of the North, Matthews and Mance are quite the pair. While Mance doesn’t quite have Clay’s hair, they are both giant, rugged figures, who elicit loyalty from their men and fear in their opponents.
TORMUND GIANTSBANE — Brett Keisel, Steelers: The man with the best beard north of The Wall and the man with not only the best beard in the AFC North, but the entire NFL, are a match made in facial hair heaven.
— thanks to James Wright for his contributions to this column.
LOS ANGELES — The annual abnormally giant human fashion and accessory show we call the NFL Draft gets underway tonight at Radio. City. Music. Hall. Where the flyest 21 and 22-year olds have their names called and then they awkwardly hug the Commissioner for an uncomfortably long period of time. Seems like we were just here, doesn’t it? Yes, it’s that time of year again where NFL teams load up on potential and What-Could-Be, and kids become instant millionaires before a single ball is snapped on Sunday. Who will be the Next Big Thing? Who will be the Next Big Bust? All speculative, all conjecture, all fun. That’s what the NFL Draft is and will be from here until the end of time. Let’s get started.
As always, I’m tuning into NFL Network for my coverage; not because I’m a company man but because it’s the best. Enjoy.
4:01pmPST – The draft is now an hour away and already a couple Radio. City. Music. Hall. calls from my man Rich Eisen (he’s joined by Marshall Faulk, Steve Mariucci, Michael Irvin and, of course, draft guru Mike Mayock). Gonna try and drop a few thoughts here before the real coverage begins at 8pmET… And look at this, show starts with old footage of the guys on the set in college. Marshall’s is of him getting drafted. So tiny and nice flat top with Paul Tagliabue
4:02 – WOW. Look at that mustache on Mooch. “National Champion Northern Michigan!” Mooch is a proud Yuper, indeed.
4:03 – Man, Irvin is so hood. That soundbite from his draft day was incredible. Referred to himself as “The Playmaker” even way back then. Guaranteed he could still catch 50 balls for 700 yards and a couple scores even today.
4:04 – MAYOCK JUST INTERCEPTED DAN MARINO. Didn’t see that in the “30 for 30.” “Did you hold that up?!” Marshall yells at him. Incredible. And love that Mayock finally ditched the Philly gangster pinstripe suit. Still 3-piece though. Always OG.
4:06 – Hot damn, now THAT’s a gangster suit from Alabama running back Eddie Lacy. Early front runner for best dressed.
4:08 – Geno Smith tells Melissa Stark and Deion on the Red Carpet that today his his mom’s birthday. That’s pretty awesome. Can’t beat getting drafted as a birthday gift.
4:18 – Feature on Pat Summerall and John Madden gave me instant goosebumps. Incredible piece. Sumerall was so smooth and told you so much by being so brief. Best of all time.
4:30 – A Django reference from Eisen talking about John Idzik, the Jets GM. Wonder if it’ll be the last? probably… what the hell is a “War Daddy?” We need a Mayock dictionary.
4:44 – Assignments that don’t suck: Hawaii. Alex Flanagan is the big winner of the Draft reporters tonight.
4:47 – Manti Te’o says he’s not angry. I’d be pretty pissed if I was him, though what ya gonna do. Everyone will forget about this soon enough. All that matters in the NFL is how he performs on the field. That’s it. If he can play, all this crapola about Catfishing and whatnot will go away.
4:59 – Shot of Geno Smith sitting at his Green Room Table and he’s rocking some Nike Flight lines in the side of his head. Very sick.
5:03 – HERE WE GO!! Mayock says Eric Fisher, followed by Luke Joeckel are the first two picks and then the intrigue begins with the Raiders at #3. Mayock loving Lane Johnson. Thinks someone will move up.
5:04 – Roger Goodell hits the stage to welcome the crowd to a chorus of boos. New York Fans are seriously the best… classy move remembering the people of West Texas and Boston as crowd chants U-S-A! Love America. Land of the free, home of the brave.
5:06 – Someone resembling Joe Namath just did some awkward chanting to put the New York Superbowl on the clock. I can’t tell if he’s your kooky drunk uncle or just plain kooky. His hair is so bizarre, too. It’s a terrible rug, that’s for sure. And just under 283 days and counting until Super Bowl LXVII… and Goodell puts the Chiefs on the clock.. and look at that Hawaiian shirt on Andy Reid. Thanks for dressing up, Andy.
5:09 – Whoa, Eric Fisher’s mom. What’s up.
5:11 – I know these two oafs are going 1-2, but I really wish Al Davis was still alive so the Raiders could screw everybody’s board and take West Virginia wide receiver Tavon Austin at #3. Now that would really be something.
5:16 – Here comes the Commish to more boos … “with the first pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select Eric Fisher, tackle, Central Michigan” … Alex Smith sleeps a little easier tonight.
5:17 – Jacksonville is on the clock. What are they waiting for? Immediately take Luke Joeckel. Come on! Blaine Gabbert is your franchise QB!!
5:20 – “I’m so proud of myself” … big ups to you Eric Fisher for giving yourself props. Somewhere Freddie Mitchell is nodding in agreement.
5:24 – Goodell out with the Jags pick … Joeckel is it, on his iPhone5 as he shakes hands and hugs his peeps in the Green Room. How do we feel about their new uniforms? Helmets are kinda cool with the half matte, half gold… classy 3 piece gray suit for Luke .. and good to see we’re still hugging the Commish like crazy. This is by far the weirdest facet of Draft day to me.
5:24 – Hip snap! Mayock needs that pop-up video treatment explaining all his lingo.
5:28 – Rich explains this is the first Raiders First Round pick since 2010 when they took Rolando McClain and his flock of pistols. They have to trade down, right?
5:29 – Darren McFadden is the only Raiders First Round pick still on the team since 2003. Being a Raiders fan must literally be the worst.
5:31 – “We need a word better than rebuilding,” Irvin says about the Raiders… OK, clock has stopped, which means we have a TRADE!!! Yes!!!! It’s about to get hairy up in herrrre.
5:33 – Dolphins move up. WOW. Miami going for broke this offseason to compete in the AFC East … and here comes Roger with the call …
5:34 – DION JORDAN!!! and we have a round of “whooooaaaaaasss!!!” from the guys on set. Unbelievable. Turning to my resident Ducks fan Chelsea for some reaction: “HOLY SHIT!!!! and it’ll be really easy to get tix to see him play.”
5:35 – “This is all about going to get some pressure on Tom Brady” – says Marshall. He’s absolutely 100% right. Miami has to compete and to do that they have to stop the Patriots. Well here’s one way to do it. What a move. Love it. Love when crazy takes over the Draft.
5:36 – Amazing bow tie on Jordan and not for nothing, he’s a freakin’ giant…. “He’s breathtaking off the edge.” Mayock is swooning.
5:39 – If you’re scoring at home, and I know you are, that’s 4 Radio. City. Music. Halls. out 0f Eisen.
5:42 – First pick of the Chip Kelly era is Lane Johnson, the big tackle from Oklahoma. Mayock’s adoptive son. “Most athletic offensive tackle in the Draft” … ROCKY theme playing in the background. Hilarious.
5:45 – Lane Johnson just said something about buffets. I have no idea. Great southern accent. Good ole boy for sure. Said he was excited to protect Michael Vick. Wonder what Chip has to say about that?
5:49 – Joey Harrington jokes never get old. Love Mooch pretending not to listen to Eisen rib him.
5:50 – Barry Sanders, your new Madden cover boy, out to announce the Lions pick.. and it’s Ziggy Ansah. Never played football until a couple years ago after getting cut from BYU hoops team and track team. Amazing. What a story. Mayock explaining how Ziggy wasn’t on scouts radars in September until he started dominating and then blew up the Senior Bowl…
5:53 – Browns fan draft party and guy wearing a “Punters Are People Too” shirt in the front row jumping up and down. Very cool.
5:55 – Browns select Barkevous Mingo. the winner of the All-Name team today. Don’t even think about it. He’s the winner.
6:00 – The Cardinals pick is in and we’re waiting … great shot of Bruce Arians rocking the Kangol. Are they officially licensed team gear? The Arians Era is basically going to be like if Samuel L. Jackson coached an NFL team. Someone get HR on the phone …
6:01 – Jonathan Cooper picked by the Cards….zzzzzzzzz…. come on, Cardinals fans, you’re not happy about that?! You don’t even know who he is?! Mayock says the team got better by drafting him. Well then, what the hell do I know??
6:04 – Rams have traded up with Buffalo to the #8 slot and talk from former scout and guru Daniel Jeramiah is they’ll be taking Tavon Austin, whose stock has risen like Apple computers in 2001 in the last couple days… Also, love Jeramiah. He’s going to be a huge star very soon and a big media winner when this Draft is over.
6:08 – Mega trade with the Rams and Bills with St. Louis getting 2 picks (1st and 3rd) and Buffalo getting 4 in this year’s draft. Bills loading up and here’s the Commish with the pick … Tavon Austin … Sam Bradford sleeps a litlte easier tonight… and snap, look at that burgandy jacket. Looking sharp, son. West Virginia swag.
6:12 – Deion asks Austin if he always has this much confidence. Um, come on Deion, look at that suit, of course he does. Pretty sure he wakes up and pisses excellence …
6:16 – Jets on the clock here with the 9th pick… fans on the edge of their seats in Radio City. Oughta be realllly interesting here … and the Commish says : Dee Milliner from Alabama … Revis out and another corner in. No pressure, kid.
6:18 – Mayock had him number 2 on his defensive board … and states “essentially the Jets traded revis for Milliner and 3rd next year” … as we see Milliner at the combine dropping passes like he’s Terrell Owens.. that’s just brutal video. Welcome to the NFL, son.
6:21 – Nice watch, Dee. Hope that’s a rental.
6:23 – “At least his first game isn’t against Revis’s new team … oh wait, yes it is. … at least his first nationally-televised game isn’t on a short week against Tom Brady … oh wait, yes it is.” Love it when Rich does this.
6:24 – Army troops in Afghanistan says the Titans should take guard Chance Warmack so Chris Johnson can get back to doing this thing .. and the pick is in and the Titans war room is very happy …
6:25 – Pick #10 and the Titans take Chance Warmack from Alabama … Major Taylor picked it right! “I told you 6 fatties would go in the top 12.” Mike Mayock, everybody!!
6:30 – Rapoport reproing the Bills could still take Ryan Nassib at 16 … Chargers pick is in and it’s offensive lineman DJ Fluker … 3rd straight Alabama player taken … Nick Saban, if you need him… Roll Tide.
6:32 – First time since 2000 that a quarterback wasn’t selected in the first 10 picks (Chad Pennington) … some guy named Brady was taken with the 199th pick that year. Whatever happend to him?
6:33 – “I love his length.” Mayock doesn’t give an eff.
6:38 – From Chelsea: “I’d love for the Jets to draft Barkley. Not in the first round, but eventually. That ‘d make me so happy.” Um, that would make us all happy.
6:46 – And the Jets pick is in … wow, fans are gonna go nuts here … Geno? … nope, it’s Sheldon Richardson, some defensive tackle from Missouri … wow. Very Anticlimatic … “explosive, freakish athlete at 310 pounds .. and Jets fans aren’t that excited” … uum, ya think?
6:50 – Panthers take Utah defensive tackle Star Lotulelei, a very good player who really shouldn’t have dropped that far. In that division you have to be able to stop offenses and this is one way to accomplish that. Also on the All-Name team for this Draft. He’s at home watching with his family. That’s the way to do it. Why come to New York when you can party with your family?
6:58 – Saints are on the clock and to say they need defensive back help would be an understatement. I threw for 378 yards and 4 scores last year against them… and here comes the Commish with a special guest from St. Jude’s hospital, whose favorite team is the Saints … Kenny Vaccaro is the pick … loving his suit, two-toned three piece .. very fly… can’t wait to hit up @fragglesrocks for the All-Swag team tomorrow.
7:00 – Mayock: “you never want to be limited in the box” … Addison chimes in: “you always want to be strong in the box.”
7:04 – Bills on the clock here at 16 and it’s QB time … will they do it? … EJ MANUEL from Florida St.!! WOW!!! The first quarterback taken!! unbelievable … Deion Sanders is going to have A LOT to talk about with him shortly … dang. Former Syracuse coach and new Bills HC Doug Maronne passes on our guy Ryan Nassib .. Kurt Warner loves that pick … I’m stunned.
7:06 – Just texted Owl, my resident Bills fan … we’ll see how angry of response he comes back with … “Love it. and I LOVE that they traded down.” Didn’t see that coming. Thought for sure he’d want Nassib.
7:08 – EJ emotional with Deion .. “I’m just so happy” .. good moment for him. his mom had breast cancer and beat it… you’ll be seeing this interview a lot in the next couple days.
7:12 – It’s getting fun now in here. The 49ers have traded up and have made a pick … swapped picks with the Cowboys … and we appear to be in a back log … Steelers up right now and take Jarvis Jones … WOW… Jantzen, our Georgia alum friend, is PUMPED RIGHT NOW!! unreal. still think he should’ve named his kid Jarvis.
7:14 – 49ers up and take Eric Reid, the defensive back from LSU, who’s in the green room holding his adorably cute daughter… “big physical safety” says Mayock … love former 9ers great Merton Hanks giving Reid his cap: “maybe he’ll make him do the chicken walk,” says Eisen … Reid walking out to meet the Commish with his daughter in his arms … very cool moment … maybe my favorite so far.
7:20 – G-Men on the clock with the 19th pick and the Commish is out… always curious to the crowd reaction … Justin Pugh … Syracuse Tackle … “I told you it wasn’t sexy, but I love the pick” … as some broad is dancing like crazy on screen … “she likes the pick” says Rich.
7:25 – Oregon guard Kyle Long goes to Chicago amid rampant Manti Te’o speculation. Long is the brother of Chris Long from the Rams and son of Raiders great, Howie. Talk about NFL bloodlines. He’s going to no doubt be a success. And let’s be honest, Jay Cutler needs needs protection.
7:33 – Bengals up at #21 amid report that Falcons have traded up to 22 … Bengals take Tyler Eifert from Notre Dame, arguably the best tight end in the Draft, which perhaps foils the Falcons plans … Eisen points out Falcons knew Bengals were taking Eifert when they made the trade … still curious who they’re grabbing now despite.
7:40 – Falcons take Desmond Trufant, defensive back from Washington who fits in and will start right away with a depleted secondary down in ATL. He’ll be tested too with all the weapons in that division. NFC South shaping up to be a really competitive.
7:42 – Lots of good players still available including Sharrif Floyd, Mayock’s top-rated defensive player and his most explosve player on tape all year … Geno Smith .. Ryan Nassib … Vikings are about to make their pick as members of the military coming out on stage … awesome.
7:45 – Floyd goes to the Vikings … he dropped but he’s going to play right away and learn from Kevin Williams.. what a force they could be in the middle there … “this kid will be a heckuva player,” Mayock says.
7:48 – Mayock getting out of his seat talking about Floyd’s explosiveness … “right now there’s a chip on my shoulder … and I’m ready to get going” he says with Deion … nice simple Mad Men pink shirt black tie combo … “I’m here and I can stand here today and say I’m a better man than I was a year ago.” Redemption is always a nice element to any sport.
7:50 – Painful shot of Geno Smith in the Green Room … getting that Aaron Rodgers and Brady Quinn treatment right now.
7:51 – Bjoern Werner going to the Colts at 24 … “a taste of Germany going to Indianapolis” says Eisen … “guy that does everything really well but doesn’t have a spectacular trait,” adds Mayock … compares him to Paul Kruger … Werner wipes off his girlfriend’s kiss on his way up. Don’t let her see this tape, young fella.
7:53 – Aaron Rodgers tweets to Geno Smith to hang in there and said good things come to those who wait … awesome.
7:54 – Vikings back up with their second pick of the round … Xavier Rhodes from FSU … “whoa” from Mayock. Hey, someone has to cover Brandon Marshall and Randall Cobb, right? … Te’o still on the board.
7:59 – Packers on the clock and they need a Running Back … is it Eddie Lacy time? Also, and can’t believe I’m just noticing this; Irvin’s suit is very conservative for the second year in a row…wonder if he’s feeling OK these days.
8:01 – Datone Jones from UCLA to the Packers … hey, you can never have enough pass rushers, right?
8:03 – Rich starts talking about Geno and Manti and how the audience is probably sick of hearing about them by now … “some players on the desk might think that,” Mayock not happy with the repeated Te’o talk.
8:09 – Deandre Hopkins from Clemson, a wide receiver drafted by the Texans at 27 to go with Andre Johnson and those weapons … Irvin says he reminds him of Roddy White … high praise (Nic Cage voice).
8:14 – Broncos pick is in at 28 and the Patriots are on the clock … Mayock giving us three names – Damaontre Moore, Sylvester Williams or Manti Te’o for Denver … we’ll see … guessing it’ll be Moore with the loss of Elvis Dumervil and that fax fiasco earlier this offseason.
8:15 – Goodell out and it’s Sylvester williams … Mayock was right , shocker… “he can immediately come in and start at defensive tackle.” Oh, you don’t say?
8:17 – Apparently Williams worked at a radiator plant … “Do you know how many radiators you have to make to make the kind of money he’s gonna make” … Irvin references “Game Changers” (fantastic show) again to which Rich responds, “I haven’t even once said the P word!” Referring to the podcast … “I HAVE A PODCAST!!” he coudn’t make it anymore.. I knew it.
8:19 – Wow, the Vikings are back in the First Round trading with the Patriots and could take Te’o … unreal … Classic Bill Belichick move. Cant’ wait to see the particulars … damn! 4 picks to the Patriots: a 2, 3, 5 and 7. What must Tom Brady be thinking…
8:26 – Former Patriots lineman and Boston Marathon first responder Joe Andruzzi out to talk about marathon … unreal moment. That guy is a real man and Patriot.
8:30 – Vikings take Cordarrelle Patterson, the explosive receiver from Tennessee. This is what frustrates Patriots fans. Remember a few years ago when Dez Bryant fell into their lap and they traded down to the Cowboys? Yeah, think Brady would like to have Dez right now? We’ll see how Patterson pans out.
8:37 – Rams up with another First Round pick and take Alec Ogletree from Georgia. “Les Snead played some poker tonight and won.” Guess Mayock likes the Rams draft.
8:38 – Two picks to go. Cowboys and Ravens. We’ll see what Jerry Jones has up his sleeve here. We know he always likes to make a splash.
8:42 – Travis Frederick, center from Wisconsin. HAHA. Wow. So that’s what we were waiting for, Jerry. Isn’t this guy not even the best lineman on his own college team and a 2nd day projected pick? Cowboys fans must be steaming right now. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of folk.
8:43 – OK, so one last pick for Manti Te’o. There were only a handful of teams who thought to be in his market – Bears, Vikings, Ravens – and let’s see what they do.
8:47 – WOW. So Te’o will have to wait until Day 2 to get drafted as the Ravens go with safety Matt Elam from Florida to replace Ed Reed. What a First Round.
8:48 – Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Had a lot of fun with this for the 4th year in a row now. It was low on celebrity but thank goodness the trades were plentiful to keep it interesting. No players from Southern Cal or Miami, 12 players from the SEC and only 1 from the Big Ten selected. Only one quarterback chosen, and not the one we expected, and no running backs for the first time ever. What will come on Days 2 and 3? No one knows, so be sure to check out all the action. I’ll have sporadic commentary on my Twitter feed: @ChrisBrockman.