This Week In Josh Scobee Badassery

Dare I say that 2012 will be the year of the Scobee. Yes, yes I do indeed dare. Ya’ll better recognize.

LOS ANGELES — Here at The Chris Brockman Website, we think kickers are people, too. Actually, some of the most awesome people in the NFL are kickers. OK, really only Sebastian Janikowski because of his Volkswagon thighs and ability to drink a whole sorority under the table, and Adam Vinatieri, because he does things like drill 45-yard game winners in freakin’ snowstorms and win Super Bowls. But that’s besides the point.

All bow down to the Del Greco.

Rare is a kicker so special he forces you take notice and causes copy writers to make gigantic bold headlines for something other than missing a game-winning kick. Once upon a time, that man was Al Del Greco, recognized internationally as the greatest player in NFL history. But in 2012, someone is coming for him. Someone is seeking to rip that crown from King Al’s dome. That someone: Josh Scobee.

The Jaguars hand-eye and foot-to-ball engineer known for destroying the Pro-Am competition on the links and striking the fear of Zeus into horned and furred wild animals across the globe became one of the highest paid kickers in the game on Monday, inking a 4-year, $14M contract. “There’s added pressure any time you sign a nice deal because people expect you to live up to it,” Scobee said. Off the record, he said he challenges anyone to fight him, because he’ll kill them with his hunting bow and mount their head on the wall in his mancave.

This Jacksonville dame knows who butters her toast: he who goes by Scobee.

OK, he didn’t really say that last part, but you know he was thinking it. If you needed reminding, Scobee is a badass. Not only does he kick 50-yard field goals in his sleep (or in this case, Jacksonville, which might has well be a dream state), he tweets about celebrating the signing with fried chicken. Is that the meal of someone who likes to eff around? I didn’t think so. He’s the only man who knows the real location of Bigfoot, and not that impostor Brian Wilson took as his date to the Espy’s.

So, we salute you, Josh Scobee. Keep doing you, son. And you all keep checking in once the NFL season gets underway for weekly updates on the ass Scobee has kicked and the names he has collected along the way.

Posted on July 17, 2012, in NFL and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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