LOS ANGELES — The annual abnormally giant human fashion and accessory show we call the NFL Draft gets underway tonight at Radio. City. Music. Hall. Where the flyest 21 and 22-year olds have their names called and then they awkwardly hug the commissioner for an uncomfortably long period of time. Seems like we were just here, doesn’t it? Yes, it’s that time of year again where NFL teams load up on potential and What-Could-Be and kids become instant millionaires before a single ball is snapped on Sunday. Who will be the Next Big Thing? Who will be the Next Big Bust? All speculative, all conjecture, all fun. That’s what the NFL Draft is and will be from here until the end of time. Let’s get started.
As always, I’m tuning into NFL Network for my coverage; not because I’m a company man but because it’s the best. Enjoy.
4:01pmPST - The draft is now an hour away and already a couple Radio. City. Music. Hall. calls from my man Rich Eisen (he’s joined by Marshall Faulk, Steve Mariucci, Michael Irvin and, of course, draft guru Mike Mayock). Gonna try and drop a few thoughts here before the real coverage begins at 8pmET… And look at this, show starts with old footage of the guys on the set in college. Marshall’s is of him getting drafted. So tiny and nice flat top with Paul Tagliabue
4:02 - WOW. Look at that mustache on Mooch. “National Champion Northern Michigan!” Mooch is a proud Yuper, indeed.
4:03 - Man, Irvin is so hood. That soundbite from his draft day was incredible. Referred to himself as “The Playmaker” even way back then. Guaranteed he could still catch 50 balls for 700 yards and a couple scores even today.
4:04 - MAYOCK JUST INTERCEPTED DAN MARINO. Didn’t see that in the “30 for 30.” “Did you hold that up?!” Marshall yells at him. Incredible. And love that Mayock finally ditched the Philly gangster pinstripe suit. Still 3-piece though. Always OG.
4:06 - Hot damn, now THAT’s a gangster suit from Alabama running back Eddie Lacy. Early frontrunner for best dressed.
4:08 - Geno Smith tells Melissa Stark and Deion on the Red Carpet that today his his mom’s birthday. That’s pretty awesome. Can’t beat getting drafted as a birthday gift.
4:18 - Feature on Pat Summerall and John Madden gave me instant goosebumps. Incredible piece. Sumerall was so smooth and told you so much by being so brief. Best of all time.
4:30 - A Django reference from Eisen talking about John Idzik, the Jets GM. Wonder if it’ll be the last? probably… what the hell is a “War Daddy?” We need a Mayock dictionary.
4:44 - Assignements that don’t suck: Hawaii. Alex Flanagan is the big winner of the Draft reporters tonight.
4:47 - Manti Te’o says he’s not angry. I’d be pretty pissed if I was him, though what ya gonna do. Everyone will forget about this soon enough. All that matters in the NFL is how he performs on the field. That’s it. If he can play, all this crapola about Catfishing and whatnot will go away.
4:59 - Shot of Geno Smith sitting at his Green Room Table and he’s rocking some Nike Flight lines in the side of his head. Very sick.
5:03 - HERE WE GO!! Mayock says Eric Fisher, followed by Luke Joeckel are the first two picks and then the intrigue begins with the Raiders at #3. Mayock loving Lane Johnson. Thinks someone will move up.
5:04 - Roger goodell hits the stage to welcome the crowd to a chorus of boos. New York Fans are seriously the best… classy move remembering the people of West Texas and Boston as crowd chants U-S-A! Love America. Land of the free, home of the brave.
5:06 - Someone resembling Joe Namath just did some awkward chanting to put the New York Superbowl on the clock. I can’t tell if he’s your kooky drunk uncle or just plain kooky. His hair is so bizarre, too. It’s a terrible rug, that’s for sure. And just under 283 days and counting until Super Bowl LXVII… and Goodell puts the Chiefs on the clock.. and look at that hawaiian shirt on Andy Reid. Thanks for dressing up, Andy.
5:09 - Whoa, Eric Fisher’s mom. What’s up.
5:11 - I know these two oafs are going 1-2, but I really wish Al DAvis was still alive so the Raiders could screw everybody’s board and take West Virginia wide receiver Tavon Austin at #3. Now that would really be something.
5:16 - Here comes the Commish to more boos … “with the first pick in the 2013 NFL Draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select Eric Fisher, tackle, Central Michigan” … Alex Smith sleeps a little easier tonight.
5:17 - Jacksonville is on the clock. What are they waiting for? Immediately take Luke Joeckel. Come on! Blaine Gabbert is your franchise QB!!
5:20 - “I’m so proud of myself” … big ups to you Eric Fisher for giving yourself props. Somewhere Freddie Mitchell is nodding in agreement.
5:24 - Goodell out with the Jags pick … Joeckel is it, on his iPhone5 as he shakes hands and hugs his peeps in the Green Room. How do we feel about their new uniforms? Helmets are kinda cool with the half matte, half gold… classy 3 piece gray suit for Luke .. and good to see we’re still hugging the Commish like crazy. This is by far the weirdest facet of Draft day to me.
5:24 - Hip snap! Mayock needs that pop-up video treatment explaining all his lingo.
5:28 - Rich explains this is the first Raiders First Round pick since 2010 when they took Rolando McClain and his flock of pistols. They have to trade down, right?
5:29 - Darren Mcfadden is the only Radiers First Round pick still on the team since 2003. Being a raiders fan must literally be the worst.
5:31 - “We need a word better than rebuilding,” Irvin says about the Raiders… OK, clock has stopped, which means we have a TRADE!!! Yes!!!! It’s about to get hairy up in herrrre.
5:33 - Dolphins move up. WOW. Miami going for broke this offseason to compete in the AFC East … and here comes Roger with the call …
5:34 - DION JORDAN!!! and we have a round of “whooooaaaaaasss!!!” from the guys on set. Unbelieveable. Turning to my resident Ducks fan Chelsea for some reaction: “HOLY SHIT!!!! and it’ll be really easy to get tix to see him play.”
5:35 - “This is all about going to get some pressure on Tom Brady” – says Marshall. He’s absoltuely 100% right. Miami has to compete and to do that they have to stop the Patriots. Well here’s one way to do it. What a move. Love it. Love when crazy takes over the Draft.
5:36 - Amazing bowtie on Jordan and not for onthing, he’s a freakin giant…. “He’s breathtaking off the edge.” Mayock is swooning.
5:39 - If you’re scoring at home, and I know you are, that’s 4 Radio. City. Music. Halls. out 0f Eisen.
5:42 - First pick of the Chip Kelly era is Lane Johnson, the big tackle from Oklahoma. Mayock’s adoptive son. “Most athletic offensive tackle in the Draft” … ROCKY theme playing in the background. Hilarious.
5:45 - Lane Johnson just said something about buffets. I have no idea. Great southern accent. Good ole boy for sure. Said he was excited to protect Michael Vick. Wonder what Chip has to say about that?
5:49 - Joey Harrington jokes never get old. Love Mooch pretending not to listen to Eisen rib him.
5:50 - Barry Sanders, your new Madden cover boy, out to announce the Lions pick.. and it’s Ziggy Ansah. Never played football until a couple years ago after getting cut from BYU hoops team and track team. Amazing. What a story. Mayock explaining how Ziggy wasn’t on scouts radars in September until he started dominating and then blew up the Senior Bowl…
5:53 - Browns fan draft party and guy wearing a “Punters Are People Too” shirt in the front row jumping up and down. Very cool.
5:55 - Browns select Barkevous Mingo. the winner of the All-Name team today. Don’t even think about it. He’s the winner.
6:00 - The Cardinals pick is in and we’re waiting … great shot of Bruce Arians rocking the Kangol. Are they officially licensed team gear? The Arians Era is basically going to be like if Samuel L. Jackson coached an NFL team. Someone get HR on the phone …
6:01 - Jonathan Cooper picked by the Cards….zzzzzzzzz…. come on, Cardinals fans, you’re not happy about that?! You don’t even know who he is?! Mayock says the team got better by drafting him. Well then, what the hell do I know??
6:04 - Rams have traded up with Buffalo to the #8 slot and talk from former scout and guru Daniel Jeramiah is they’ll be taking Tavon Austin, whose stock has risen like Apple computers in 2001 in the last couple days… Also, love Jeramiah. He’s going to be a huge star very soon and a big media winner when this Draft is over.
6:08 - Mega trade with the Rams and Bills with St. Louis getting 2 picks (1st and 3rd) and Buffalo getting 4 in this year’s draft. Bills loading up and here’s the Commish with the pick … Tavon Austin … Sam Bradford sleeps a litlte easier tonight… and snap, look at that burgandy jacket. Looking sharp, son. West Virginia swag.
6:12 - Deion asks Austin if he always has this much confidence. Um, come on Deion, look at that suit, of course he does. Pretty sure he wakes up and pisses excellence …
6:16 - Jets on the clock here with the 9th pick… fans on the edge of their seats in Radio City. Oughta be realllly interesting here … and the Commish says : Dee Milliner from Alabama … Revis out and another corner in. No pressure, kid.
6:18 - Mayock had him nubmer 2 on his defensive board … and states “essentially the Jets traded revis for Milliner and 3rd next year” … as we see Milliner at the combine dropping passes like he’s Terrell Owens.. that’s just brutal video. Welcome to the NFL, son.
6:21 - Nice watch, Dee. Hope that’s a rental.
6:23 - “At least his first game isn’t against Revis’s new team … oh wait, yes it is. … at least his first nationally-televised game isn’t on a short week against Tom Brady … oh wait, yes it is.” Love it when Rich does this.
6:24 - Army troops in Afghanistan says the Titans should take guard Chance Warmack so Chris Johnson can get back to doing this thing .. and the pick is in and the Titans warrroom is very happy …
6:25 - Pick #10 and the Titans take Chance Warmack from Alabama … Major Taylor picked it right! “I told you 6 fatties would go in the top 12.” Mike Mayock, everybody!!
6:30 - Rapoport reproing the Bills could still take Ryan Nassib at 16 … Chargers pick is in and it’s offensive lineman DJ Fluker … 3rd straight Alabama player taken … Nick Saban, if you need him… Roll Tide.
6:32 - First time since 2000 that a quarterback wasn’t selected in the first 10 picks (Chad Pennington) … some guy named Brady was taken with the 199th pick that year. Whatever happend to him?
6:33 - “I love his length.” Mayock doesn’t give an eff.
6:38 - From Chelsea: “I’d love for the Jets to draft Barkley. Not in the first round, but eventually. That ‘d make me so happy.” Um, that would make us all happy.
6:46 - And the Jets pick is in … wow, fans are gonna go nuts here … Geno? … nope, it’s Sheldon Richardson, some defensive tackle from Missouri … wow. Very Anticlimatic … “explosive, freakish athlete at 310 pounds .. and Jets fans aren’t that excited” … uum, ya think?
6:50 - Panthers take Utah defensive tackle Star Lotulelei, a very good player who really shouldn’t have dropped that far. In that division you have to be able to stop offenses and this is one way to accomplish that. Also on the All-Name team for this Draft. He’s at home watching with his family. That’s the way to do it. Why come to New York when you can party with your family?
6:58 - Saints are on the clock and to say they need defensive back help would be an understatement. I threw for 378 yards and 4 scores last year against them… and here comes the Commish with a special guest from St. Jude’s hospital, whose favorite team is the Saints … Kenny Vaccaro is the pick … loving his suit, two-toned three piece .. very fly… can’t wait to hit up @fragglesrocks for the All-Swag team tomorrow.
7:00 - Mayock: “you never want to be limimted in the box” … Addison chimes in: “you always want to be strong in the box.”
7:04 - Bills on the clock here at 16 and it’s QB time … will they do it? … EJ MANUEL from Florida St.!! WOW!!! The first quarterback taken!! unbelievable … Deion Sanders is going to have A LOT to talk about with him shortly … dang. Former Syracuse coach and new Bills HC Doug Maronne passes on our guy Ryan Nassib .. Kurt Warner loves that pick … I’m stunned.
7:06 - Just texted Owl, my resident bills fan … we’ll see how angry of response he comes back with … “Love it. and I LOVE that they traded down.” Didn’t see that coming. Thought for sure he’d want Nassib.
7:08 - EJ emotional with Deion .. “I’m just so happy” .. good moment for him. his mom had breast cancer and beat it… you’ll be seeing this interview a lot in the next couple days.
7:12 - It’s getting fun now in here. The 49ers have traded up and have made a pick … swapped picks with the Cowboys … and we appear to be in a back log … Steelers up right now and take Jarvis Jones … WOW… Jantzen, our Georgia alum friend, is PUMPED RIGHT NOW!! unreal. still think he should’ve named his kid Jarvis.
7:14 - 49ers up and take Eric Reid, the defensive back from LSU, who’s in the green room holding his adorably cute daughter… “big physical safety” says Mayock … love former 9ers great Merton Hanks giving Reid his cap: “maybe he’ll make him do the chicken walk,” says Eisen … Reid walking out to meet the Commish with his daughter in his arms … very cool moment … maybe my favorite so far.
7:20 - G-Men on the clock with the 19th pick and the Commish is out… always curious to the crowd reaction … Justin Pugh … Sryacuse Tackle … “I told you it wasn’t sexy, but I love the pick” … as some broad is dancing like crazy on screen … “she likes the pick” says Rich.
7:25 - Oregon guard Kyle Long goes to Chicago amid rampant Manti Te’o speculation. Long is the brother of Chris Long from the Rams and son of Raiders great, Howie. Talk about NFL bloodlines. He’s going to no doubt be a success. And let’s be honest, Jay Cutler needs needs protection.
7:33 - Bengals up at #21 amid report that Falcons have traded up to 22 … Bengals take Tyler Eifert from Notre Dame, arguably the best tight end in the Draft, which perhaps foils the Falcons plans … Eisen points out Falcons knew bengals were taking Eifert when they made the trade … still curious who they’re grabbing now despite.
7:40 - Falcons take Desmond Trufant, defensive back from Washington who fits in and will start right away with a depleted secondary down in ATL. He’ll be tested too with all the weapons in that division. NFC South shaping up to be a really competitive.
7:42 - Lots of good players still available including Sharrif floyd, Mayock’s top-rated defensive player and his most explosve player on tape all year … Geno Smith .. Ryan Nassib … Vikings are about to make their pick as members of the military coming out on stage … awesome.
7:45 - Floyd goes to the Vikings … he dropped but he’s going to play right away and learn from Kevin Williams.. what a force they could be in the middle there … “this kid will be a heckuva player,” Mayock says.
7:48 - Mayock getting out of his seat talking about Floyd’s explosiveness … “right now there’s a chip on my shoulder … and I’m ready to get going” he says with Deion … nice simple Mad Men pink shirt black tie combo … “I’m here and I can stand here today and say I’m a better man than I was a year ago.” Redemption is always a nice element to any sport.
7:50 - Painful shot of Geno Smith in the Green Room … getting that Aaron Rodgers and Brady Quinn treatment right now.
7:51 - Bjoern Werner going to the Colts at 24 … “a taste of Germany going to Indianapolis” says Eisen … “guy that does everything really well but doesn’t have a spectacular trait,” adds Mayock … compares him to Paul Kruger … Werner wipes off his girlfriend’s kiss on his way up. Don’t let her see this tape, young fella.
7:53 - Aaron Rodgers tweets to Geno Smith to hang in there and said good things come to those who wait … awesome.
7:54 - Vikings back up with their second pick of the round … Xavier Rhodes from FSU … “whoa” from Mayock. Hey, someone has to cover Brandon Marshall and Randall Cobb, right? … Te’o still on the board.
7:59 - Packers on the clock and they need a Running Back … is it Eddie Lacy time? Also, and can’t believe I’m just noticing this; Irvin’s suit is very conseravate for the second year in a row…wonder if he’s feeling OK these days.
8:01 - Datone Jones from UCLA to the Packers … hey, you can never have enough pass rushers, right?
8:03 - Rich starts talking about Geno and Manti and how the audience is probably sick of hearing about them by now … “some players on the desk might think that,” Mayock not happy with the repeated Te’o talk.
8:09 - Deandre Hopkins from Clemson, a wide receiver drafted by the Texans at 27 to go with Andre Johnson and those weapons … Irvin says he reminds him of Roddy White … high praise (Nic Cage voice).
8:14 - Broncos pick is in at 28 and the Patriots are on the clock … Mayock giving us three names – Damaontre Moore, Sylvester Williams or Manti Te’o for Denver … we’ll see … guessing it’ll be Moore with the loss of Elvis Dumervil and that fax fiasco earlier this offseason.
8:15 - Goodell out and it’s Sylvester williams … Mayock was right , shocker… “he can immediately come in and start at defensive tackle.” Oh, you don’t say?
8:17 - Apparently Williams worked at a radiator plant … “Do you know how many radiators you have to make to make the kind of money he’s gonna make” … Irvin references “Game Changers” (fantastic show) again to which Rich responds, “I haven’t even once said the P word!” Referring to the podcast … “I HAVE A PODCAST!!” he coudn’t make it anymore.. I knew it.
8:19 - Wow, the Vikings are back in the First Round trading with the Patriots and could take Te’o … unreal … Classic Bill Belichick move. Cant’ wait to see the particulars … damn! 4 picks to the Patriots: a 2, 3, 5 and 7. What must Tom Brady be thinking…
8:26 - Former Patriots lineman and Boston Marathon first responder Joe Andruzzi out to talk about marathon … unreal moment. That guy is a real man and Patriot.
8:30 - Vikings take Cordarrelle Patterson, the explosive receiver from Tennessee. This is what frustrates Patriots fans. Remember a few years ago when Dez Bryant fell into their lap and they traded down to the Cowboys? Yeah, think Brady would like to have Dez right now? We’ll see how Patterson pans out.
8:37 - Rams up with another First Round pick and take Alec Ogletree from Georgia. “Les Snead played some poker tonight and won.” Guess Mayock likes the Rams draft.
8:38 - Two picks to go. Cowboys and Ravens. We’ll see what Jerry Jones has up his sleeve here. We know he always likes to make a splash.
8:42 - Travis Frederick, center from Wisconsin. HAHA. Wow. So that’s what we were waiting for, Jerry. Isn’t this guy not even the best lineman on his own college team and a 2nd day projected pick? Cowboys fans must be steaming right now. Couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of folk.
8:43 - OK, so one last pick for Manti Te’o. There were only a handful of teams who thought to be in his market – Bears, Vikings, Ravens – and let’s see what they do.
8:47 - WOW. So Te’o will have to wait until Day 2 to get drafted as the Ravens go with safety Matt Elam from Florida to replace Ed Reed. What a First Round.
8:48 - Thanks for tuning in, everyone. Had a lot of fun with this for the 4th year in a row now. It was low on celebrity but thank goodness the trades were plentiful to keep it interesting. No players from Southern Cal or Miami, 12 players from the SEC and only 1 from the Big Ten selected. Only one quarterback chosen, and not the one we expected, and no running backs for the first time ever. What will come on Days 2 and 3? No one knows, so be sure to check out all the action. I’ll have sporadic commentary on my Twitter feed: @ChrisBrockman.
LOS ANGELES — The 2013 NFL Draft is in a couple hours and by now you’ve surely read 8,000 mock drafts telling which team should take which college standout where and what it should trade up to get him, who’s worth the risk and who’s getting passed up. You’ve read things like “heavy-legged waist bender” and “dancing bear” and dogs and cats and busts, and heard comparisons to Ryan Leaf and JaMarcus Russell and Elway and Marino and everywhere in between. Well this is not like any of those mock drafts. This is way more fun and speculative. Based on NFL.com’s projections for each team’s biggest area of need, I broke down what each of the teams picking in the Top 16 should do if they were drafting celebrities, either based on their real lives or a character they once played long ago. Because what’s more hilarious and a waste of time than mixing sports and pop culture? Right. Nothing. Pretty sure Grantland’s whole existence is based on this premise.
Enjoy and don’t forget to tune into the 1st Round of the 2013 NFL Draft on NFL Network in a couple hours at 8pm ET and all throughout the weekend. And, as always, I’ll have my 1st Round Running Diary posted sometime before Friday night’s 2nd Round coverage kicks off.
1.) Kansas City Chiefs: Biggest Need – Offensive line. Celebrity Pick – Eric Stonestreet (Modern Family): This might be the easiest pick in the Draft. Not only is Stonestreet a gigantic Chiefs fan, but he’s also roughly the size of a starting left tackle. In fact, I don’t think anyone would notice if Kansas City took him instead. And I know ES has lost some weight recently, but who wouldn’t want to see him in a wing-off with Andy Reid? Who isn’t paying $9.95 to see that?
2.) Jacksonville Jaguars: Biggest Need – Quarterback. Celebrity Pick – Jerry O’Connell (“Jerry Maguire”): If you were going to be the No. 1 overall pick in a fake NFL Draft, that’s really all I need to slot you at the top of this mock draft. Now, O’Connell didn’t have the greatest arm motion in his brief football clips but hey, anything’s better than Blaine Gabbert, AMIRIGHT?!
3.) Oakland Raiders: Biggest Need – Defensive Line. Celebrity Pick – Rick Ross (rapper): You want to talk about a hole plugger, Ross is your guy. He’s Vince Wilfork but with vocal skills. And you don’t have to worry about him looking the part; Ross would immediately be in the Top 5 All-Tattoo Team and his rap sheet puts him on par with Rolando McClain. Sounds like a Raider to me.
4.) Philadelphia Eagles: Biggest Need – Offensive Line. Celebrity Pick – Abraham Benrubi (“ER”): Every year there are picks that make you shake your head, and this is one of those, but trust me, Benrubi can protect Chip Kelly’s fine jewels. First off, this guy was a nurse, so he knows how to take care of people. Secondly, I once saw him at California Chicken Cafe on Melrose, and let’s just say he can pack away a combo wrap or 5. Conditioning might be an issue in this new high-tempo offense, but a source tells me he’s ready to adjust.
5.) Detroit Lions: Biggest Need – Defensive End. Celebrity Pick – Joe Manganiello (“True Blood”): Aggressive? Check (the guy’s a werewolf). Looks the part? Check (yeah, 6-5, 260 is significantly bigger than Dwight Freeney).
6.) Cleveland Browns: Biggest Need – Defensive Back. Celebrity Pick – Anthony Mackie (“We Are Marshall”): Mackie brought the wood and looked legit doing it as a Marshall safety, and certainly he’s jacked up like LaRon Landry in his latest flick “Pain and Gain.”
7.) Arizona Cardinals: Biggest Need – Offensive Line. Celebrity Pick – Billy Gardell (“Mike & Molly”): Not only is Gardell a monster, he’s a security guard, so he knows what’s it’s like to protect the good. Not that Carson Palmer would be considered “the goods” anymore, but you get my point.
8.) Buffalo Bills: Biggest Need – Quarterback. Celebrity Pick – Keanu Reeves (“Point Break”): “Don’t you know who this is? It’s Johnny Utah.” ‘Nuff said.
9.) New York Jets: Biggest Need – Quarterback. Celebrity Pick – Jamie Foxx (“Any Given Sunday”): If there’s anyone who could come in and tame the New York media and become the new QB darling in the Big Apple it’s Willie Beamen. Not only was he ahead of his time with the spread offense, he’s not afraid to smack talk with his own players. Something Mark Sanchez definitely isn’t doing.
10.) Tennessee Titans: Biggest Need – Offensive Line. Celebrity Pick – Reuben Studdard (Americon Idol): I don’t know what big Rube is up to these days, but I’m guessing him right now, in 2013, would be better than anyone the Titans could draft here. He could probably play the whole left side of the line if my waistline trajectory projection is accurate. Chris Johnson could ride that sandwich to 2,000 yards.
11.) San Diego Chargers: Biggest Need – Offensive Lineman. Celebrity Pick – James Gandolfini (The Sopranos): There’s not a more offensive person in the history of the world than James Gandolfini. OK, that may be stretching it, but Tony Soprano has to be up there among TV characters. He didn’t even want Meadow causally dating that mixed dude in Season 2, and he was always so eloquent with his speech. This is someone you want protecting you.
12.) Miami Dolphins: Biggest Need – Tackle. Celebrity Pick – John Goodman (“Roseanne”): Explosive. Powerful. Volatile. That pretty much sums up Goodman in all his roles and that’s definitely the kind of attitude you want on the offensive line where he’ll be protecting 2nd-year Mr. Lauren Tannehill.
13.) New York Jets: Biggest Need – Wide Receiver. Celebrity Pick — Jason Segal (“How I Met Your Mother”): Segal once told me and Hines Ward on the Red Carpet of the 2012 Academy Awards that if were ever to portray a football player in a movie, he’d be a tight end. So naturally, this is fitting for the Jets who need anyone to do anything productive on the field.
14.) Carolina Panthers: Biggest Need – Defensive Line. Celebrity Pick – Dwayne Johnson (Everything): Seriously, do you smell what The Rock is cookin’?
15.) New Orleans Saints: Biggest Need – Linebacker. Celebrity Pick – Channing Tatum (“Magic Mike”): There’s literally nothing this guy can’t do, so why not start at middle linebacker for the Saints? He’s ripped. A physical specimen and you know if he ever picked one off and returned it to the house he’d have a fantastic end zone dance.
16.) St. Louis Rams: Biggest Need – Wide Receiver. Celebrity Pick – Bill Bellamy (“Any Given Sunday”): This seems like an obvious choice. Bellamy told us he’s the greatest receiver of all-time. I have no reason to NOT believe him. All wide receivers are very level-headed individuals and never prone to self-aggrandizing and egomania.
LOS ANGELES — The day is finally here: the First Round of the 2012 NFL Draft. We’ve been talking about this day since the season ended back on February 5 when Tom Brady’s hail mary landed just by the outstretched arms of Rob Gronkowski. It was then speculation began on who would go No. 1 overall, even though we all assumed (correctly, it turned out) that it would be Andrew Luck of Stanford. Last year, it was Cam Newton who dominated our pre-Draft chatter; this year it’s Luck and Baylor’s Robert Griffin III who’ve high-jacked the Draft talk in the months leading up to Roger Goodell taking the podium at Radio. City. Music. Hall. As always, I couldn’t be more excited for this year’s First Round. And as always, I’ll be documenting all the action live all night with NFL Network as my guide (#duh) with its team of Rich Eisen, Steve Mariucci, Marshall Faulk, Michael Irvin and Mike Mayock. I’m expecting hilarity, ridiculousness, insight and lots of references to watching tape, being a beast and scout jargon Mayock likes to use to confuse the viewers. I laid out my First Round Predictions earlier this week so we’ll see how I do, but above all, I’m expecting a fun several hours. The festivities don’t officially kickoff until 8pmET but I’m tuning in for the pre-game show just in case. We’ll see if anything good happens. Enjoy!
4:03pm – Robert Griffin III on the red carpet with Melissa Stark and wow, does he look just like Andre 3000’s kid brother; pretty much dressed like him, too, with a baby blue suit and purple tie and a checkered shirt. Camera pans down to his socks, which say “Go Catch Your Dreams” and are Redskins colors. Very sick. He had them custom made; no kidding. This guy is going to be a huge, huge star in the D.C. area. Ya know, until he clashes with Mike Shannahan and Jared Allen separates his shoulder in Week 6.
4:08pm – WOW!! An hour to go before the draft and we already have a trade. Michael Lombardi and Jason LaCanfora are reporting the Browns have traded up to No. 3 to presumedly take Trent Richardson. Unreal. The Greatest Player Of All-Time, also known as Jim Brown, called Richardson “ordinary” earlier today. I guess we’re going to find out just how ordinary he is in Cleveland. Colt McCoy is smiling big right now.
4:13pm – So the Browns give up, reportedly, a 4th, 5th and 7th, as well as swapping No. 1s for Richardson. Well, I guess Cleveland had the picks after last year’s coup with the Falcons for Julio Jones. NFLN has Richardson video on, it’s ridiculous how good he is. The Vikings should’ve just traded Adrian Peterson and taken Richardson.
4:15pm – Bill Belichick coming up on Patriots Cam! I love that Bill always wears a suit for these things. He’s amazing. Man I hope the Pats trade up and take Chandler Jones or Mark Barron or Luke Kuechly.
4:24pm – Bill has said “we’ll see what happens tonight” three times already. Good to see he’s in midseason form in late April.
4:27 – hilarious tweet from Tom E. Curran re: Belichick: “Perhaps the finest coach in NFL history just sucked the life out of the NFL Network predraft broadcast. #belibuster”
4:42pm – “The Ones” feature is very tight. Love the Jon Hamm voice over. Some good names on that list and some busts. Interesting to see if both Luck and Griffin (I refuse to call him that other moniker) can become superstars as usually one is and one isn’t when two QBs go that high. I would bet both make the Pro Bowl in 4 years.
4:45pm – Eisen kicks it to Deion Sanders, who’s on the stage walking across a gigantic “PRIMETIME” which is embroidered on the carpet. That wasn’t an accident, I assure you.
4:51pm – and we have an early candidate for Most Annoying Commercial: you guessed it, “The Avengers” trailer. I think this movie is going to be so terrible and unwatchable not even Robert Downey Jr. will be able to save it but it’s not going to matter because it’ll still rake in boatloads of cash thanks to the fanboys, who are going to come out in full force for it. Who am I kidding, I’ll probably end up donating my 30 bucks to cause.
4:54pm – Ryan Tannehill standing with Melissa Stark says he’s excited about 14 times. Yeah, I would be too if I was about to be the 8th pick in the draft when any other year I wouldn’t go in the first 3 rounds. Oh, and his wife is a model. He’s winning the draft so far tonight.
5:00pm – NFL Draft open for NFLN narrated by Jon Hamm. I’m getting flashbacks to Don Draper’s Kodak pitch from season one of “Mad Men.” If you’re not watching that show, you’re missing out.
5:02pm – and there it is! Our first Radio. City. Music. Hall. from Eisen. Only 56 more to go! What a scene out there in New York. Someday I need to attend the Draft as a fan. I gotta think it’s either one of the coolest, most fun days ever or akin to sitting outside Best Buy in the freezing rain on Black Friday because your girl wants a new blender.
5:03pm – and here’s Goodell to the dais to a chorus of boos from the Radio City crowd. New York is seriously the best. They’d boo their moms if they hadn’t made the playoffs in three years. “The 2012 NFL Draft is officially open” actually gets cheers from the crowd and Goodell announces the Colts are on the clock. How is this taking any time whatsoever?!? Jim Irsay, you’ve known you were taking Luck since October!!?!
5:04pm – Luck is on the phone as Eisen tells us since we’ve known this was the pick since 2009, NFLN is gonna show it, which won’t be the case throughout the night. No doubt they’ll show Griffin on the phone, too. The pick is in, so let’s get this party started.
5:06pm – It’s official. Luck is the first pick and his mom pinning him with the Colts horseshoe on his lapel. Very cool moment. Handshakes all around in the Colts war room. So Luck doesn’t exactly look like a Mad Men extra. Looks like I’m already 0-fer on my predictions. Thought that one would be a lock.
5:08pm – Mayock just compared Luck’s athleticism to Cam Newton’s. Umm, really? If Luck rushes for 14 touchdowns this season I’ll run the LA Marathon buck-ass naked.
5:10pm – Luck with Deion on the stage and he’s excited and NOT sporting a neckbeard. Definitely the upset of the day thus far. And the Redskins have their pick in and of course it’s going to be Robert Griffin III. Can’t believe he’s still rocking the braids. It’s 2012. Come on, bro.
5:13pm – Griffin has his named called and as he’s hugging his family and entourage in the green room he picks up his daughter who’s holding an iPhone. Don’t know why, but this is hilarious to me.
5:14pm – apparently the Browns have made their pick already and the Vikings are on the clock. They should without a doubt move down and compile picks. Deion calls Griffin the savoir of the Redskins. I wonder what VA and Scotty Wat think about that. I’ve posted it on our GroupMe, we’ll see who gets back. Deion says you “have to have swag” to wear those socks. I’m already over Deion.
5:20pm – Browns make it official and take Richardson. This guy is… wait for it… a beast. Too bad he’s stuck in Cleveland, which means he’ll probably be out for the season with a knee injury in Week 4.
5:21pm – these guys are taking FOREVER to get on stage to the Commish. They are literally shaking hands and man-hugging with 30 people before getting up there. There is a wicked logjam right now, as the Vikings and Bucs have already turned in their cards. IN other news, I think my Triscuits are stale but that won’t stop me from eating the rest of the box.
5:24pm – and it appears the Jaguars have traded up to No. 5 to take who Lombardi is guessing is Justin Blackmon. OK, that’s fine and dandy, but who’s gonna throw him the ball!? Is Maurice Jones-Drew playing quarterback now? Richardson on the stage with Deion with his two daughters who are rocking Browns hats. Pretty cool moment.
5:26pm – Mayock says it’s either Morris Claiborne or Matt Kalil for the Vikings here and the Rams will be taking whomever they don’t. Here’s Goodell … Vikings take Kalil, smart pick. 10-year pro. He’s the biggest lock in the Draft. And good because no one has to lose their job, as I bluntly stated earlier today.
5:28pm – a Lane Kiffin sighting! Wow. And Kalil rocking a serious beard. He also becomes the 476th player from USC chosen. That’s ridiculous, nine more than Notre Dame.
5:31pm – OH SNAP. First big shocker of the first round. Cowboys trade up to No. 6!!?! Jerry Jones has done it again. Who is he taking there? Mark Barron? Here’s the Jags’ pick … Justin Blackmon it is. “That’s a great pick” says Mayock. Yeah, it is, but still. Blaine Gabbert is still your quarterback.
5:33pm – first GroupMe update from my buddy Dave, a Giants fan: “not looking forwad to playing RG3 twice.” There you have it.
5:37pm – Mayock says reason Cowboys hasn’t made a Super Bowl in recent years is because of their secondary, as Goodell comes out and announces Dallas taking Morris Claiborne. “best ball skills of any corner coming out in recent years.” And is that Claiborne with his kid? So that’s 6 picks and four kids among the draftees. That HAS to be a record.
5:39pm – really like Claiborne’s suit. I tell ya what, Cowboys fans can’t ever complain about Jones not doing what it takes to compile players. He goes out and makes things happen. They don’t always work, but he’s got that Steinbrenner in him in that regard.
5:43pm – so every selection except the top pick has been via a trade, which is a new record and now the Bucs pick is in… Mark Barron from Alabama, who people thought might go in the teens. Nice purple checkered shirt and tie and damn, an enormous gold watch. Mayock all but guarantees he’s a Pro Bowler.
5:47pm – this is a great pick for the Bucs when you think about it, with all those receivers and explosive offenses in the NFC South. Now we have the Dolphins on the clock, so who knows what they’re doing. Ryan Tannehill? Jesus, that’s going to be a disaster. Good thing I’m not a Dolphins fan. Let’s see what Marc says.
5:49pm – and it’s Tannehill to the Dolphins. Man oh man. I thought last year teams panicked with taking quarterbacks early with Jake Locker, Christian Ponder and Gabbert. This guy might be worse than all of them. And poor Chad Henne, I actually thought he might be a decent pro. What do I know, though, Tannehill could be a legit starter. But I wouldn’t bet an apple on that.
5:53pm – the Panthers pick is in and I’m guessing it’s Melvin Ingram though Mayock disagrees, but we agree it’s a defensive player. And the Bills pick is in, too. This first round is flying!
5:54pm – Panthers take Luke Kuechly from Boston College, the stud linebacker. This guy is going to be ridiculous. He’ll make the Pro Bowl this year, count on it. Shot of him at home in Cincinnati with a huge party going on. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that’s the way to go. Big party at your house. No need for the hoopla of being in New York.
5:56pm – another “Avengers” spot. I’m telling you, major flop. Followed by an Outback ad. Kinda makes me wanna go fight some crime and eat a bloomin’ onion. These stale Triscuits aren’t cutting it.
5:58pm – Bills dial up Stephon Gilmore from South Carolina. More defense for Bills after last year’s selection of Marcel Dareus. Let’s see what Owl says about this pick: “I know very little about him. He’s fast. I like taking a corner though, so I’m happy with that part of it.”
6:00pm – lot of conservative suits from these guys so far in the top 10. Only Robert Griffin went for something a little offbeat. Even Michael Irvin has a generally conservative (for him) look with pin stripes. Mayock did call him Nucky Thompson, which was pretty funny. Chances Irvin knows that reference? 5%?
6:03pm – Chiefs take Dontari Poe to the surprise to most. Poe becomes literally the 10th of 11 picks to have dredlocks, I think, which is ridiculous. And we may have another trade, Eagles move up to 12 to take what people think is Fletcher Cox.
6:06pm – Poe has the top hair in the Draft. Hands down. Also amusing is how he’s wearing his hat now. And JESUS that’s a big watch. “think Haloti Ngata” says Mayock. Damn, that’s some comparison. Irvin wonders why he was so average in college, which is a good question. I’m gonna go out on a limb and say he didn’t work hard enough and took his dumptruck size shape for granted.
6:11pm – let’s see how Eagles fans respond to this pick, always interesting … Fletcher Cox it is and moderate cheers/boos. This is a big boy. OK, I’m all for congratulations backstage, but there needs to be a time limit on getting to the stage. This is getting out of hand. Actually, Cox was one of the quicker guys… wow, what a bear hug he just laid on Goodell. The commish needs to go through his own combine/training before the Draft to deal with these blows he’s taking from guys. I thought this would be a one-year thing, but nope. People love hugging Roger.
6:15pm – Cardinals on the clock. So are they going to take Michael Floyd here or what? Still not sure they’re sold on Kevin Kolb, especially after admittingly going after Peyton Manning earlier this offseason, so we’ll see what happens here. They must feel like they can win their division but are missing what? Defensive line, Offensive line. Who knows.
6:18pm – Cards go with Floyd to team up with Larry Fitzgerald and whomever Ken Whisenhunt decides to march out there at QB. First Notre Dame receiver taken in first round since Tim Brown in 1988. We all know how that worked out (hint: very well.)
6:20pm – Irvin saying Floyd reminds of him Anquan Boldin. I’m buying that. Fitz hasn’t been as good since Boldin left, and well, since Kurt Warner retired. I also buy into the notion of having two stud receivers; balances out the defense so it can’t take away one. Look at the Patriots; who in the hell do you focus your coverage on on that team?
6:23pm – update on Tannehill from Epstein, our resident Dolphins fan: “Don’t know much about him. (Owner Stephen) Ross loves him, which isn’t a good thing to me. Guess we’ll see. Who knows what the Dolphins are doing.” So they have that going for them, which is nice.
6:26pm – apparently Seahawks owner Paul Allen is calling out every other teams picks on his Twitter account before it’s broadcast. Hilarious… Rams take Michael Brockers, the defensive tackle from LSU. Ooh, really liking his suit, too, three-piece with a purple pocket square.
6:30pm – love the war room shots as we see Seattle and Pete Carroll just chillin. Very cool cat. Almost literally ran into him rounding a corner at the Senior Bowl in Mobile this year, and he just laughed it off. Then again, it was kinda late, so who knows where he was coming/going. “I like the drama, I like not knowing the picks,” Mayock says in reference to not showing the kids on the phone before hand. It does add some intrigue, I’ll admit… Seahawks take Bruce Irivin, who can be kind of a wild card but is possibly the best rusher in the draft and wears #11, which is pretty cool for a defensive player. If I was a badass linebacker in college I’d definitely wear a single digit number or something low. Makes you look cooler.
6:31pm – Jets on the clock, who knows what would happen here but they’re definitely taking a defensive player. Really hope it’s not my boy Chandler Jones from Syracuse, that would be disappointing.
6:35pm – not sure if this is a good sign for the Seahawks or not, but the last 1st round pick out of West Virginia: Pacman Jones! Your Seattle Seahawks, everybody!
6:36pm – look at the names available for the Jets here: Ingram, Courtney Upshaw, Quinton Coples, Chandler Jones. Damn. Tom Brady can’t be loving that. Ryan Tannehill is too busy staring into the eyes of his new bride to care. Ryan Fitzpatrick is off grooming his beard somewhere.
6:39pm – ok, Jets fans, let’s hear it … Quinton Coples is the pick and we get some claps and jumping around from the gallery. Well we have another bust candidate. I question how much this guy likes playing football. We’ll see. “Julius peppers-like ability” says Mayock. I mean, come on, Mike. I was at the Senior Bowl, too, and the most impressive thing about Coples there were the fraternity brands on both his upper arms.
6:42pm – from Dave: “Coples and Goodell are hugging like they’ve known each other for 15 years.” Yeah, the hugging has gotten a little creepy at this point.
6:46pm – With the first of their two 1st Round picks, the Bengals take Alabama’s Dre Kirkpatrick, and man am I loving the red sweater under the suit the gray suit. And look at that polkadot tie he’s got there. But seriously, what’s with the dreds?! I really thought guys were going away from that look.
6:53pm – Melvin Ingram finally goes off the board to the Chargers. Surprised he fell as far as he did. Goes to show if you’re a player without a true position or teams aren’t sure where you can play it will affect your stock. It’s too bad, he had a fantastic Senior Bowl and could be one of the best defensive players to come out of this draft when it’s all said and done. Good value for San Diego here. WOW, he and Goodell just did a choreographed handshake like they were Victor Martinez and Manny Ramirez. That was pretty fly, can’t front there.
6:56pm – This might be the first selection of someone I’ve never heard of: Shea McClellin from Boise St. Good to see Parker’s Broncos getting some love in the first round.
7:01pm – Patriots move UP in the draft, just like I predicted, and will take Chandler Jones per Adam Schefter. LOVING that pick. I guess that’s why Bill was being so coy earlier in the afternoon.
7:06pm – another logjam of picks with three in the hopper. Here’s Goodell with the Titans at No. 20 … Kendall Wright, the receiver from Baylor. Good move for them especially with Kenny Britt’s uncertainty following ACL surgery.
7:09pm – did Irvin just compare Wright to Santonio Holmes? That can’t be a good thing, can it? And the Steelers are on the clock at 24 even though we have yet to hear who the Patriots are taking at 21, even though we think it’s going to be Chandler Jones, or maybe Courtney Upshaw. Bill loves SEC players and is friends with Nick Saban.
7:10pm – here’s Goodell with the Patirots pick … boos from the Jets fan, haha, haters… CHANDLER JONES!!! YES!!! Mayock’s no. 9 player falls to 21. This is fantastic. Haven’t been this excited about a Syracuse player coming out since Dwight Freeney and that seemed to work out just fine. Also, how stupid athletic is this family. I’m sure you’ve heard by now, but Chandler’s brother is UFC light heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones and his other brother, Arthur, plays defensive line for the Ravens. Three professional athletes, not bad. The Brockmans need to step up their game.
7:12pm – second first round pick for the Browns, let’s see how they screw this up … wow, Brandon Weeden! Unreal. Nice knowing ya, Colt McCoy. “He can make all the throws” says Mayock. I really like this kid, had a great Senior Bowl and a great season at Oklahoma St., which I thought should’ve been playing for the national championship. Should be a good pro. Ha, just realized how ridiculous calling him “kid” looks, he’s 28 and married for Pete’s sake.
7:13pm – VA, a Redskins season ticket holder, has weighed in on Robert Griffin via GroupMe: “he appears to be off the charts in any category you’d want in a franchise QB. Having said that, he’s coming to the sports Bermuda triangle of Washington, dc and I’ve assumed nothing but the worst for/from him.” And there you have it. Good luck, Mr. Griffin.
7:17pm – Lions pick about to be announced as we learn that the Patriots traded up AGAIN. Wow, I really nailed that one. This time up to 25, swapping out with the Broncos.
7:19pm – Calvin Johnson, your new Madden 2013 cover boy, is out to announce the Lions pick. Let’s see how this works out for him. I guess if anyone can break the “Madden Curse” it’s Megatron. Oh, and they take Iowa tackle Riley Reiff. Sure, why not, need to protect the injury prone Matthew Stafford somehow.
7:21pm – big Stanford guard David DeCastro goes to the Steelers at 24. Blue collar pick for a blue collar team. Pittsburgh rarely misses on guys, so this is will probably work out for them. Let’s see what the Patriots do here, probably Courtney Upshaw, I’m guessing. Eisen says Pats traded out all their lower picks, so they have two 2nd round picks tomorrow and that’s it for the draft. Interesting move by Bill there. I’d guess they’d trade down on one of those 2nd rounders for more picks on Day 3, but that’s just a guess.
7:22pm – Patriots take Dont’a Hightower from Alabama. The 4th Crimson Tide player to go so far tonight. “two of the most explosive defensive players in this year’s draft,” Mayock says about the Pats draft so far. Really solid. Pats were 31st in the league last year in defense, so there’s only one way to go in that regard. Both players with start and play a TON next season.
7:28pm – and we have another “WHO?!?” pick of the first round. Whitney Mercilus from Illinois for the Texans at No. 26. Guess you have to try and replace Mario Williams somehow.
7:32pm – Eisen and Marshall do their Goodell/Ingram handshake impression. Eisen’s too white to pull that off, which he immediately acknowledges, so that’s good. Mayock just wants Charlie Yook to stop telling him what to do in his ear. Good luck with that, as well.
7:34pm – Bengals take Kevin Zeitler from Wisconsin to play guard. Zzzzzzzzzzzz… Maycok saying if your’e a Bengals fan you should be happy. Um, OK.
7:36pm – OK, new commercial I’m sick of, the Top 100 promo that NFLN is running. I’m only half kidding because I really like that show having worked on it last season. I think this year’s list will be more indicative of who the players actually think are the best 100 players in the league. Last year it appeared if the voting was skewed because a) not a lot actually voted and b) no one really knew what this list was and how it was constructed. Really curious to see if Tebow makes the list. I’m guessing no. Cam Newton will be in the top 25 and maybe higher than Eli Manning, who continues to get no respect. Rob Gronkowski will also be very high. Aaron Rodgers will be your new No. 1. I have no inside info, just speculating. Probably do a full post about this next week or further along in the list, which kicks off this weekend.
7:39pm – packers take Nick Perry from USC, who is a BEAST. He can play some serious ball. Last time the Packers picked a Trojan his name was Clay Matthews, seems to have worked out so far.
7:42pm – Courtney Upshaw looks like he’s about to rip that table off and throw it across the green room. I’ve stood next to that guy. He’s straight up the scariest dude I’ve ever seen. Shocked he’s still on the board.
7:45pm – Ravens trade out of the first round to the Vikings, who take Harrison Smith, a defensive back from Notre Dame. Shocking, Mayock loves this pick, wonder if it’s that because he’s the Irish broadcaster? Haha, Mayock just called Darren Sharper “what’s his name” that’s hilarious. First time since 1994 that Notre Dame had multiple first round picks. So that must’ve been Jerome Bettis and who? Chris Zorich? No. Hmm… Ok, looking it up.
7:47pm – So I was way off there. Bryant Young, Aaron Taylor and Jeff Burris were taken in the first round that year from Notre Dame. In case anyone was wondering, the first overall pick that year was Big Daddy Dan Wilkinson. The 3rd pick was Heath Shuler. NFLN’s own Marshall Faulk went 2nd and Willie McGinest 4th. Respect.
7:49pm – in doing the Verizon phone promo, with a closeup of his hand and the phone, Eisen says “sorry ladies, I’m married.” Classic.
7:50pm – 49ers take A.J. Jenkins, the receiver from Illinois. Mayock had him as a 2nd rounder and 8th best WR. Not exactly a ringing endorsement. Why would they take him, anyway? They signed Mario Manningham and Randy Moss this offseason in order to bolster that passing offense for Alex Smith. Really odd move unless you think this kid can play right away, which I seriously doubt.
7:53pm – Interesting tweet just now from Deadspin, noting that ESPN has said the word “Tebow” 14 times, while NFLN has said it only once. Not sure what that means but it’s not nothing that’s for sure.
7:54pm – Josh, my resident Ravens fan chimes in after they trade out of the first round; “waste of 3 hours.”
7:56pm – Bucs trade up to take running back Doug Martin from Boise St. Hmm, LaGarrette Blount can’t be happy right about now.
7:57pm – and we’re minutes away from the end for the first round with the Giants on the clock. Amazing how fast this has gone, roughly less than the average time of an NFL game. That is the real upset/surprise of the night, especially given all the trades.
8:04pm – here we go, let’s wrap this up: “the world champion New York Giants” take David Wilson, running back from Virginia Tech. Wow, 3 running backs in the first round, also an upset, though not to Marshall Faulk. “He’s a football player”, um, yeah, they all are, Mike. Astute observation.
8:06pm – that was exciting and fast. What a fantastic first round. Really shocking no players drafted from the usual powerhouses Ohio St., Penn St., Miami, Florida or Florida St., among others. One thing that kind of annoyed me, aside from the all the man love with the Commissioner, is that everyone seemed to “love” every pick. I really like when the analysts kill picks on these types of things. Bruce Irvin and AJ Jenkins really shouldn’t have been picked where they were but yet there was no real criticism. Best picks, in my opinion: Morris Claiborne, Melvin Ingram and Chandler Jones. Didn’t really like any of the offensive players, aside from the obvious guys at the top. I think Weeden can play in this league but he’ll need some help on Days 2 and 3 from the Browns personnel department. Had a really fun time, once again, so thanks for taking the time to re-live all the 1st Round action with me. It was fast-paced and really exciting. Already can’t wait for my fantasy draft to see which of these rookies my buddies overvalue and the Sept. 5 kickoff. Happy offseason!
LOS ANGELES — In news first broke here, it’s NFL Draft week, Major League Baseball has begun, the NBA Playoffs are starting and there are movies out people want to see. With those facts floating in the stratosphere, I had to dial up Evan Bretzman and get his thoughts for another fantastic episode of The Crossover (click here to listen).
Throughout the course of the show, we break down what we think could happen in this weekend’s NFL Draft (hint: he likes Robert Griffin III over Andrew Luck); we wonder what is going on with the Red Sox a mere three weeks into the MLB season (hint: I do a flip-flop on my preseason prediction); we question if this is the year LeBron James finally wins an NBA title (hint: one of us thinks so, the other does not); and breakdown the similarities between “Taken” and the new film “Lockout” (no hint, just listen).
Among the other topics broached: Twitter handling big scandal moments, a Minneapolis “celebrity” sighting, birthday boat parties, Flo Rida and much, much more. You seriously don’t wanna miss this episode.
As always, check me out on Twitter (@chris_brockman), explore the site and thanks for listening and spread the word!
LOS ANGELES — The annual National Football League college entry draft is on Thursday in New York City and Stanford quarterback Andrew Luck will be selected first overall by the Indianapolis Colts. These are the facts of the case. It’s been assumed Luck would be the first name commissioner Roger Goodell speaks since about October of last year; right around the time it became undoubtedly obvious Peyton Manning’s surgically repaired neck wasn’t going to allow him to signal call in 2011 and the Colts were in for a historically bad season. Then, last month, the Redskins mortgaged their future to trade up to the No. 2 hole for the right to select Baylor quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin III.
After these two 22-year olds are chosen what will happen with the next 30 picks is anybody’s guess. It’s what makes the NFL Draft my favorite sporting event of the year. (click here and here for my running diaries of the 2010 and 2011 NFL Drafts) The Awkward interviews, outrageous suits, head shaking over bad picks and Jets fans booing are only the tip of the football iceberg for what’s to come over the course of the 5-hour extravaganza. With that, and because everyone seems to do the same NFL Draft columns each year (“Biggest Busts,” “Best Late-Round Picks,” etc.), I decided to offer up some Round 1 Predictions. I’m shooting for a 12.5% success rate, or roughly the exact percentage of 2011 First Rounders to make the Pro Bowl last season (Cam Newton, Von Miller, Patrick Peterson and A.J. Green).
1.) Someone is going to compare Robert Griffin III to Cam Newton, Michael Vick, Donovan McNabb, Troy Smith and other African-American running quarterbacks who came before him.
2.) NFL Network analyst Michael Irvin is going to a) say something so ridiculous I’ll wish I had a “Mute Irvin” button my remote, and b) look ridiculous doing it.
3.) Some team will pull a Vikings and completely whiff on turning in their draft card causing a chain reaction of quick picks.
4.) One of the draftees will spend his entire bonus check, which he hasn’t received yet, on a bracelet, watch, earrings or all of the above.
5.) Commissioner Roger Goodell will get lots of hugs from the draftees and all of them will be awkward.
6.) At least three of the draftees will look like “Mad Men” extras and Andrew Luck will definitely be one of them.
7.) New Broncos quarterback Peyton Manning will be mentioned so often we’ll think it’s The Decision: Part 2.
8.) There will be less Pro Bowlers drafted in the First Round than last year.
9.) Neither Luck nor Alabama running back Trent Richardson will win Offensive Rookie of the Year in 2012.
10.) NFL Network host Rich Eisen will say “Radio City Music Hall” roughly 57 times during the 5-hour broadcast.
11.) Colts Owner Jim Irsay will be interviewed looking like he just spent the night with Roger Sterling.
12.) Oklahoma St. quarterback Brandon Weeden will be this year’s Andy Dalton.
13.) The Patriots will trade UP in this year’s draft rather than their traditional downward movement.
14.) Now that Al Davis is no longer with us, the Raiders will make a rational selection based on team needs… who am I kidding.
15.) Someone will get picked that none of “experts” had in their Top 50.
16.) An analyst will totally kill the mood of the broadcast by bringing up last year’s lockout.
17.) There will be roughly 2-3 commercials that will get played over and over and over again making me literally hate those companies.
18.) At least two of the draftees will be wearing bow ties.
19.) Syracuse defensive end Chandler Jones will get drafted.
20.) We will see video of JaMarcus Russell doing SOMEthing (playing football well won’t be it, either.)
21.) Texas A&M quarterback Ryan Tannehill will get drafted far too high and spark comparisons to Jaguars QB Blaine Gabbert.
22.) In three years, teams are going to wish they drafted linebackers Courtney Upshaw (Alabama) and Luke Kuechly (Boston College) higher.
23.) The Colts will try and trade up into the end of the First Round to draft Luck’s favorite target of the last few seasons: Stanford tight end Coby Fleener.
24.) Someone will talk about the Madden video game curse.
25.) A team that didn’t make the playoffs last year, is going to complete a trade so terrible it’ll seem make the Falcons 5-pick swap with Cleveland last year look like a steal.
26.) NFL Network analyst Mike Mayock will say the phrase “when I looked at the tape” no less than 487 times.
27.) During a crowd shot there will be someone wearing a jersey so dated I’ll have to rewind and watch it at least 3 times to figure out who it is and/or laugh.
28.) At least 7 players who played in this year’s BCS National Championship game (LSU vs. Alabama) will get drafted.
29.) Someone will trip either walking out to shake hands with the Commissioner or heading to a network interview.
30.) Despite the networks vowing not to show draftees on the phone before they’re selected, somehow we’ll know who’s going where before Goodell says a name.
31.) The point will be hammered home in full force that Nike is the new maker of NFL uniforms.
32.) At least one of the draftees girlfriends will become a Twitter star before the night is over, kind of like Jets backup quarterback Greg McElroy’s sister did a year ago.